I perpetually come up against these seemingly unresolveable dilemmas. Maybe it's just cause I remember them more than the little choices you make every day...

so, as you probably know, I have a year of track eligibility left. This means that as long as I'm enrolled in some college, I could run on their track team for one more year. You also might know that I can get 50% off graduate school tuition if I took classes at Wash U. The great thing would be to enroll for the spring semester in some grad program and run. However, the 50% is dependent on working full time. And you have to be a full-time student to be ncaa-eligible. Full-time work + full-time class + running = very long day != Jennifer awake. It would probably be all-around bad, I'd always be sleep-deprived, I probably wouldn't do too well in classes, and I don't know if I could ever top the wonderful (and I'm not being modest here, it was wonderful) season I had last year. But I love to compete, most of the team is back, I'd get to run relays again, maybe do some hurdling, be with friends, and keep in shape.

If nothing else I will try to help the team out, run unattached at some meets, but then I can't do the relays. It's kind of sad that I would entertain the idea of going to grad school just so I could run one more year of track. But I know how much I would miss it, the whole year of eligibility thing resulting from the old coach and I having some differences about my commitment to the sport and me not running sophomore year. It galls me to have a year that I could run and not be able to do anything about it. I could run next year, I know... I have five years after I graduate to use the year. But I wouldn't get to run the relay with Val. And I think it's terrible that I have done hardly anything athletic this summer aside from some bike rides with Sarah. Coach said it well: that's sad for the former Most Outstanding performer. Sigh. So I'm soliciting opinions, but I know some people don't feel the competitive urge, and I know that I'm the one who would have to do it. I want to, but I don't know if I can. That's the crux of the matter, I suppose. The mind is willing but the body will shut down on you. Any advice? Caveat: I might not even be able to enroll in the spring. They might not let me. Still, let me know what you think.