You've probably seen this before...but since May so nicely provided it for me, I thought I'd share it with you. Kind of sad how many apply to me

1. You get pulled over by a cop, and when he is

writing you a ticket, he asks you for your name and

you respond: "Tell me your name officer, then I

shall tell you mine."

2. If someone tries to get by you, you turn and

exclaim loudly: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

3. When you check your email, you start speaking to

Sauron.... After all, your computer is your

Palantír! Just hope no one throws it down the

stairs....

4. When you hear a knock at the door, you look around suspicously and mumble: "They are coming...."

5. When you are surfing the web, you get another

annoying pop-up window, and you rub your chin and

say to yourself: "What is this new devilry?"

6. You come to Math class on the day of the finals

and mutter under your breath: "You find more cheer

in a graveyard!"

7. You call the ugliest person that you know

"Smeagol," and when he/she replies: "What are you

smoking?" You say: "The finest weed in the

Southfarthing."

8. You go to the local old folks home to visit mom,

and you see an old, decrepid, elderly man sitting on

a chair. Thinking quickly, you grab a nearby staff,

hold out your hand, close your eyes, and say: "From

my power, I release you!"

9. You run through a load of pigeons, shouting:

"Fly, you fools!"

10. You change your answering machine message to:

"This is the Dark Lord Sauron! Give me a ring!"

11. Next Olymics, when the torch bearer enters, you

jump up and shout: "Kill him, Legolas! Kill him!"

12. You explain to your children/little sibling that

"The Three Billy Goats Gruff" were really trying to

cross the Bridge of Khazad-Dum to the greener

pastures of Lothlorien.

13. You refuse to go anywhere unless plans are made

at least a week in advance. Any sooner would just be

too hasty.

14. You walk into your local bakery and ask for two

loaves of lembas bread.

15. You've read all three books more than ten times.

16. You've kept it hidden and safe.

17. You've turned you back on your faithful tv and

now watch the palantir.

18. Since you've seen the first one of the three

LOTR movies you're listening to Enya all day long.

19. You think it is a strange fate that we should

suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing.

20. Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

21. You dedicate all your free time to learning

Sindarin or another Tolkien language.

22. You know when Durin IV lived.

23. You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

24. Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a

cave troll!"

25. When you come to a dead end you're still

convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

26. There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend

and enter!"

27. Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song.

Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

28. The only map you can read is the one of Middle

Earth.

29. You're starting to make strange hissing noises

when you speak and call all your possessions "my

precious".

30. You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien

character and seriously consider naming your

children after LOTR characters.

31. You have more than thirty sets of the books -

and several are in languages you can't read.

32. You buy the bookmark with "the one ring" tied to

the tassel, and then wear the ring around and

pretend to be invisible.

33. Every time you see birds in the sky you have the

urge to say "Fly you fools!"

34. When someone knocks on your door you grab them,

pull them inside and ask "Are you frightened?... Not

nearly frightened enough!"

35. You try to walk on top of snow like the elves

do.

36. You think about getting toupees for your feet.

37. You have made up names for all the nameless

characters in the movie, like various hobbits at

Bilbo's party or the elves at the Council of Elrond.

38. You are able to reenact the whole movie in

character.

39. Your computer's screensaver is a marquee

reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a

mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

40. You print out the whole movie script and

religiously study it.

41. You've highlighted all your favorite parts of

the books, and your highlighter has ran out of ink.

42. You have a special clock that always tells you

how many days, hours, and minutes are still left

until the next part of the movies opens in theaters.

43. You find yourself taking many detours and

shortcuts

44. The last five times you went to see the movie,

you only went to see the preview trailer.

45. All day you hear words such as 'habit' and

'going', in your mind as 'hobbit' and 'Gollum'.

46. Whenever you see a tree you give it a hug and

say "Hail Treebeard!".

47. You grow long hair and tie it back, and prance

around delicately - and you are male.

48. You get someone to shoot you with 3 arrows, just

so you can reenact Boromir's death scene.

49. You start to put 'elvish' down as your religion.

50. You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It

comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

51. You manage to bring the words 'hobbits' and

'Mirkwood' into every sentence.

52. Your friends instantly know you are going to say

something about LotR even before you open your

mouth.

53. You get a long blond wig and give yourself an

elvish name.

54. You see a carrot and can't help but think of

Merry.

55. You learn all 25 pages of Very Secret Diary off

by heart and say phrases from them at all times (And

after he found a carrot that was just the right

shape...)

56. You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody

tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

57. You point out one word differences between

speech in the film and in the book.

58. You notice everyone else goes "aaaahhh" at the

same time when Legolas gets off his horse.

59. You're certain that tiny bits have changed since

the eighth time you've seen the movie.

60. You have organized your bookmarks into

subcategories "elvish" and "Legolas".

61. You devote free time to drawing sketches of LotR

characters from the various posters around your

room, then realise you don't need the poster, you

know the faces off by heart.

62. A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

63. You stayed up 'til 5am watching the Oscars and

threw things at the screen when Ron Howard/Russell

Crowe/Jennifer Connelly appeared.

64. You go to lordoftherings.net and spend hours

refreshing the page, just to hear the actors say

"Hello, I'm Elijah Wood (or whatever). Welcome to

lordoftherings.net"

65. You start saying "a star shines on the hour of

our meeting."

66. You're determined to refresh lordoftherings.net

until you discover how to pronounce 'Viggo'.

67. You have more than 20 LotR sites in your

browser's favourites.

68. You are attracted to all people with long blond

hair regardless of their sex.

69. You begin to cry when someone tells you it's

just a book and a movie.

70. You start digging for mithril.

71. You see birds flying towards you and shout

"Crebain from Dunland!", then tell everyone to hide

72. You shamelessly wear LOTR clothes and try to

convince trees and animals that you are actually an

elf.

73. You refuse to date because you're afraid you'll

fall in love and have to give up your immortality.

74. Your swearing vocabulary consists of "A Eru",

"Elbereth Gilthoniel" and "urca"

73. If you see anyone with a ring you order them to

give it to Frodo and become violent when they don't.

74. You've started forging the Great Rings and try

to give them to 3 beautiful people, 7 short people,

9 power hungry people and one seriously evil person.

75. When people go against your will you warn them

that you are not a conjurer of cheap tricks.

76. You've started stealing vegetables with your

shortest, most Scottish friends.

77. You've started trying to convince orcs and

goblins to breed, with flowers and candlelit

dinners.

78. You had nine dogs named after each member of the

Fellowship. After the death of Boromir, you only had

eight dogs.

79. You are constantly asking the trees in your yard

if they've found the Entwives yet.

80. Every September 22nd, you throw a birthday party

for Bilbo and Frodo.

81. When someone asks you your name, you respond

with "I am _ son (Or daughter) of ___."

82. You named your cubicle "Helm's Deep" and brag

that no one has ever broken through

83. Whenever you do something wrong, you blame it on

Isildur's bane.

84. You have friends over for dinner and only serve

one piece of Lembas bread.

85. You refuse to give your kids vitamins because

you want them to be hobbit-size forever.

86. When your car breaks down, instead of calling

someone for help, you wait for the Eagle Lord to

swoop down and save you.

87. You put Rogaine on your toes and feet.

88. You call your best friend "Sam". He gets

annoyed and says that his name is Peter, and he

won't talk you if you call him Sam again.

89. When a friend tells you that your love for

Legolas is becoming dangerous, you tell her you're

marrying him in a month.

90. You throw all your mom's rings to the fire

trying to see if one of them is the One ring.

Oh yeah, and Punxatauney Phil (the groundhog) saw his shadow, so we're supposed to have another six weeks of winter. Even though it was near 70 deg F yesterday. Go fig. Gotta love StL weather.