The Onion | Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Touch With Mainstream

From the John Mayer Road Journal:
"I told the Ticket Fairy that LA Songwas in the encore, then I was all like 'just kidding' then she was all like 'that's mean!' and I was all like 'I know. You know what else is mean? The average of a set of numbers.' " --Scotty, JM's tour manager or something...

Scotty apparently considers himself a bit of a wit. For example:

I share an office with the Much Loved Ticket Fairy. She walked into the office, grinning ear to ear, with a girlish spirit about her. In her hands she held a pine cone, nurturing it like a little pet. "Oh my pretty little pet, I love you." Stroking it and petting it and massaging it. I looked at her quizzically, to which she replied,

"Whaaaat? I LOVE acorns."

Acorns, huh? How do you feel about pine cones?

(in case you're wondering, the ticket fairy is someone who goes around at the shows giving out front row or similar seats to worthy looking souls. Or hot girls to fill out the seats. Too bad I have yet to be in either of those groups. Josh Groban has a ticket fairy too, but I doubt any of them actually make it up to the mezzanine.)

It's really hot today. Like triple digit heat indexes. And I still haven't started my NAFLD isolation. Bah. Guess I better get on that. Maybe I'll go to the zoo tonight for the alumni thing. Maybe not. I'm just great at prevaricating, you know.