More blogspam, completely unnecessary, but that I saw it on the BPAL forums. I know I’ve seen this before, but now it’s immortalized here. Yay.

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line, so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.