*Take This Test!*

You were male in your last earthly incarnation.

You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern South India, approximately in the year 1350.

Your profession was: builder of roads, bridges, docks.

A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:

Person with huge energy, good in planning and supervising. If you were just garbage-man, you were chief garbage-man.

A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:

You are bound to learn to understand other people and to meet all life difficulties with joyful heart. You should help others, bringing them spirit of joy.

do you remember?

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amazing, practical,

and always interesting.

someone who is constantly the center of attention,

but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head.

They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding,

someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

lmao. Thanks, moll.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. ~ Wilde

At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.

“My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.

“I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another.

“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said a third.

“My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another contributed.

“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man.

Then there was a short moment of silence.

“Thank God we can all still drive,” said one woman cheerfully.



Don’t you just love elderly drivers?

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

–Steven Wright

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.”

Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. “Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, ‘Who was our first president?’, and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put ‘George Washington,’ and so did you.”

“So, everyone knows that he was the first president.”

“Well, just wait a minute,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who freed the slaves?’ Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.”

“Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Johnny.

“Wait, wait,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?’ Mary put ‘I don’t know,’ and you put, ‘Me neither’.”

“Television – a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.”

–Ernie Kovacs

Why I Am So Tired

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.

Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.

This leaves 19 million to do the work.

Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me . . . and you’re sitting there reading jokes.

Hello folks. Not too much going on right now. I’m pretty much done for the day and I have to wait for my dad to come pick me up. I should have brought my comp, now that I think of it. I could have run over to the shuttle stop and had them pick me up right now so I can work on that other job. Yeah. I should do that anyway, I just can’t use their ethernet. Man, I miss it. Mom won’t let us get cable internet cause she says cable is her one indulgence and if we get cable there’s more possibility of the repair people coming over. and she doesn’t want that. I don’t want it either, when you think about it, but I don’t want that slow modem either. We’re over on hours at home so technically I can’t go online at home until next friday, unless it’s an emergency. Blah.

I guess I have to figure out what DSL is all about.

Anyone know differently about the cable stuff? Does it need as many repairs as cable tv does? Cause apparently now they’re going to start charging for the repair visits, the greedy little…

Man. I miss summer already. I wish I had more time to write now that school is all over. Did I tell you I didn’t get into UC-Davis? Sorry Lammy. No visits this summer…. no big though. Whatever. I know I’m good 😉 I keep telling myself that I have to just go home and write, but it’s tough, cause I’m usually tired and hungry. I whine a lot, don’t I? Ah well. I think that’s enough ranting for now…