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woes and whatevers

So I started on the AMCAS application last night. You know, the one that determines whether I get into med school. I don't have my MCAT scores yet but I figured I might as well get what I can finished now before things get too crazy when I do have the scores. And as it is likely that I'll have to take the test again, this is sort of a test run ;) Though the application means I need to write the dreaded "why I want to go to medical school" essay. Ugh. I knew this was coming, but to actually have to delineate my reasons...that's not easy for me. I've got the whole 'helping people' thing, which is true. I want to have a positive impact on someone's life, perhaps many someones. I can't see myself staying in lab research forever, though I do think I would like to continue research as a doctor. I'll admit that there's a nice financial incentive to it as well. You know, work a while, make a little money, then I can write to my heart's content. Yeah. (speaking of writing, I don't know if I'll be able to do NaNoWriMo this year. My cheerleader is wavering. Alas.) Then there's the whole 'cool' factor of being a doctor. While I certainly don't think my life will be anything like Grey's Anatomy there's bound to be more interesting stories to be had from the life of a doctor rather than the life of a research technician. I just can't think of a slick way to say that on an application. I just think it will be very exciting, yet stressful. I think I could be a good doctor, especially with the work that I'm doing now (what with meeting patients and recruiting and all) but sometimes it doesn't sound like me. I know no one will answer this, but what do you think of when you consider Jen as doctor? Why do you think I might be good with an MD after my name?
Anyway, back to the application. After all the fuss about getting my parents' tax information because I wanted to try for the fee assistance program for said application, they 'carefully determined that you are not eligible for aid this year.' Screw that. So I'm seriously thinking about getting a credit card so I can spread the payments for this insanely expensive foray into the future. Why? Because the application + sending the application to three schools (so far, there should be more, just so I have a better chance) is already going to be upwards of $300 once the transcripts are figured into things. Add a couple more schools and it's close to 400. And if there are secondary applications for the med schools themselves (which there most likely will be) who knows how much that will cost. I could see this easily costing a thousand. Which I don't have right now, and even if I did I'd like to save it for Vegas. So technically I could put the stupid app fee on a credit card which (as much as I hate interest) would let me not have to pay for it all at one time. Thankfully, the med schools that I want to apply to so far all have Nov 1 or later deadlines, so as long as I get the scores in a timely manner I should be alright. Cross your fingers that there are fee waivers for the secondary applications. And if you have any insight into writing med school essays, please let me know. So basically I've got all these things that could totally mess up my self esteem...but right now it's 'whatever' because I have to leave for class. And get the stupid PIN so I can log into the university system again, even though I did it just fine a few weeks ago to register...yet now apparently it's different. The last time I went, I couldn't believe that I had forgotten it. This time, I have no idea what I changed it to, yet I'm sure I will remember when I see it. Sigh. Later! (And I really want to learn about Ruby, now, thanks to this...
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file under: education

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