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Crazy Quotes

Our strength is that we don’t have any weaknesses. Our weakness is that we don’t have any real strengths.

— Frank Broyles, college football coach

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.

— Doug Collins, basketball commentator

I wanted all my ducks in a row so if we did get into a posture we could pretty much slam-dunk this thing and put it to bed.

— Lee Cooke, mayor of Austin, TX, abusing cliches

Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.

— Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst

A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.

— Samuel Goldwyn

Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.

— Hong Kong dental advertisement

He was probably our greatest living painter — until he died.

— LBC British Television News

How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.

— Manufacturer

The people don’t take baths and they don’t speak English. No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?

— Jim McMahon, NFL football quarterback, on Europe

Can’t act. Can’t sing. Balding. Can dance a little.

— MGM summary of a screen test by some guy named Fred Astaire

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