Style

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Not fashion style, as I have very little of that. I’ll take comfort over fashion any day. But writing style, that’s something different. I’ve never really been sure I have a style, other than faintly imitative of Carol Berg or Jim Butcher. I’m not good at categorization, which is sort of funny since my mom is really good at it. Anyway, there’s a meme floating around about analyzing your writing and comparing it to famous writers, and here’s my result, based on my last blog entry. Perhaps I should finally read some of his work…

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

One of these days I’ll dredge up some of my NaNo stuff and see how that pans out.

I would like all the people in my life with money issues to stop having them. And I would like my tomatoes and zucchini to fruit.

Looking forward

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The Long Road

Image by Robb North via Flickr

Do you see an empty road, or a new future?

I’d like to think that it’s an invitation to take a new path, one that’s completely open to interpretation.

Of course, in real life I’d never take such a road, not without checking a map or pulling out the GPS I hope to afford one day…

Does that ever happen to you? Where you want to do something but the practical side of you holds you back? That’s sort of how I feel about writing. I love it, I do. I love the feeling of creating a new world and populating it with characters that run away with the story, of finding new plots when you thought there were none, of writing just to see what happens, because I usually have no clue. But then I think of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in front of seeing the words I’ve put down show up in a book in a bookstore. Sure, there are people out there who are doing really well with the new ebook publishing model. But call me old-fashioned, I want a book with a professional cover printed by a reputable house with my name at the top. And that’s tough to do.

Of course, I have to finish writing the damn thing first. I’m so close–one chapter and an epilogue, which I know some people hate, but I think it’s the best way to wrap up the story–but it’s not easy to sit down and do the planning I know I need to do so the last chapter is the best it can be (for the first time through, anyway 😉 ) There are so many other things clamoring for my time: knitting, crocheting, the iPod apps that Mike always belittles, gardening (yes, it seems I like gardening very much), taking care of the home, working out, and lest we forget, reading. I’m ahead of last year in books but behind during this month, but again, so many things in the way. I need more time in the day, of course.

But I’ve just got to make time. I’ve got to set out on that open road, without knowing what’s ahead. Sure I may have to make some U-turns along the way, and go back to what works, because no one succeeds 100% of the time. But I just have to think of what waits at the end, or even the next fork, reaching little goals along the way.

The thing about fairy tales

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Inspired by this.
I grew up on Disney fairy tales. For a long time they were my only source for magic and wonder, and man, did they do a good job. The Golden Age of Disney (for me, at least, and probably a lot of my peers) consisted of the years when The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and the Lion King came out, and in my opinion there have never been any better animated fairy tales than those.
But every so often I come across the original versions of the tales. One of these days I’ll have to read Grimm’s and be horrified that my happy endings aren’t so happy. You know me, I love my happy endings, so I usually hew to the Disney versions anyway.
(Side note: Beauty and the Beast will always be my favorite favorite of those…because Belle is a bookworm, and she gets that huge library *want*)
My thing about fairy tales is that I want them to wrap up nice and neat and preferably with a happy ending (do you sense a trend here?), and I’m generally happy when they do. But here’s the rub: the stuff I like to read now doesn’t always end on an upbeat note. Carol Berg and Jim Butcher, my favorite authors, are not afraid to leave you hanging.
The ending of the story I’m working on doesn’t really end happily (in my head, at least–it’s not finished, much to Mike’s chagrin) but it does end with hope. That’s the thing, I guess. Maybe I just want the hope that things will turn out right, that there is reason to be hopeful, that there’s the thought that if the story continues, everyone might not start off completely depressed. Maybe that makes me an optimist, but I don’t care. Give me a glimmering of hope, and I might just forgive you for not making the story HEA (happily ever after).

Fleet

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Image via Wikipedia

Last Saturday was (among other things) the UAA Outdoor Track & Field Conference Championships back at my alma mater Washington University in St. Louis. It’s been eight years since I ran on that track, but the track alumni have been meeting up at conferences for the last few years, and they planned a tiny alumni meet. Sprint medley, anyone?
News of the meet made me finally purchase that indoor cycle I’d been thinking about getting. I knew I wouldn’t get in the shape I’d ideally have to be in, but I could at least try to drop a few pounds. I somehow managed to hurt my thigh muscles the week before the event, of course, but nothing was going to stop me from running that sprint!
Nothing but a tornado, actually. Yes, the relay (200-200 (me!)-400-800m) was literally on the track (after the tornado sirens went off twice, and the lightning siren once) when someone got the news that a tornado had really touched down in West County and we were all herded to the basement of the Athletic Complex (lots of unwashed wet athletes in a small space, yay!) as the rain poured down.
So I didn’t get to run in a race. But I warmed up and ran a bit, and put on my spikes that hadn’t seen daylight in eight years. And I did warm up sprints before the aborted start, and I remembered how good it felt to run down that track, how different it is to run in spikes and not regular running shoes, how strange to think that at one time I was covering seven meters in a second and maybe, just maybe, I could do that again.
I miss track so much.

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The long and winding road

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Image by tpeñalver via Flickr

Sometimes our dreams feel so far away, lost upon a crooked path that never seems to lead directly to anywhere we want to go. There are distractions and deviations along the way; when we finally get past those, it seems we’re still slogging uphill like Sisyphus (though hopefully without the boulder).
I say I want to write. I better damn well do it, no matter where that path goes. I should follow it and follow my dreams, but I keep finding ways to stray, and other dreams poke their head in and say, “hey, remember me? how you used to like to do fill in the blank?” and I’ll nod and look longingly at the piano or the easel (the one I don’t have, so the analogy breaks down a bit here) or the web design or the whatever-caught-my-fancy-today.
Discipline, that’s what I need. Anyone know where I can find any?
There was supposed to be a party tonight, but it’s off, so I better use the night to my advantage. Let’s see what happens. Motivation, I’m looking at you!

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Why am I afraid?

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2010 Chinese New Year: Year of the Tiger

Image by Photo Maiden via Flickr

Wow, I haven’t posted anything in a long time. I haven’t been inspired. I’m not really now, either, but I figured I should post at least once this year 😉
Mike thinks I’m afraid of writing. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m afraid of what would happen when I finally finish a novel. What on earth would I do then? I don’t know. The unknown is frightening and all that…It’s the Year of the Tiger. Isn’t that supposed to inspire courage? Yes, according to this site: “This courageous and fiery fighter is admired by the ancient Chinese as the sign that keeps away the three main tragedies of a household. These are fire, thieves and ghosts.” Let’s have none of those, please. Let’s be brave and write together, shall we?
(ETA, this site says in the chinese zodiac, monkeys are the “erratic geniuses.” If that’s not me, I don’t know what is.)
I finally bought Scrivener, with my NaNo 09 winner discount, so now I really need to use it. I’ve even got some ideas for the next few chapters. And I could start adding my previous (mostly all unfinished) to Scrivener and use its nifty features to figure out how I can get them done. I really want to be a writer, I do. But my motivation is non-existent. I’ve got to get over that. Really.
Will someone hold me to the writing? I always say I want more money. Well, writing wouldn’t get me much, but it would be more.

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Fireworks

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That’s what I was writing about last, anyway, when I finally won NaNoWriMo this year. A day early, whoo!
Usually my word processor thinks I have about 200 more words than the official NaNo validator does, and that’s what I expected this year–but when I validated the first time, just to see where I was (I was at 45.9k or so) I had lost 800+ words. The next time, at 46.7k, I had lost nearly a thousand. That’s no good. But I resigned myself to writing more…and I did it, just now. Huzzah!
NeoOffice’s final word count: 51219. NaNoWriMo’s word count validator: 50127. I can live with that.
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And no, I’m not done with the story yet. Have a teaser:

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Why I NaNo

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I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo (aka National Novel Writing Month) since 2004, and I’ve been ML (Municipal Liaison, or the person ostensibly running the region) for three years. I’m hoping for my sixth win at the end of November, so that means I’ve talked about this project for a long time now. But every month at the writing meeting, there are newbies who don’t know what NaNo is, which always surprises me (and shouldn’t by now, since I’ve been going to that group for what, four years?). Sometimes I get the “wow, I could never do that” speech, or the “You must be really crazycreative to do that”, or the “I don’t have the time to do it.”
Well, you can do it, I am relatively creative in the grand scheme of things (and don’t get me wrong, there are lots of times when I think I’m insane for doing it), and most of the time, I don’t have the time to be doing NaNo, yet I just keep doing it. Forsooth, you say, but why?
I love to write, no matter how much of a hiatus I take between writing sessions. When you find that moment when the story comes together without you realizing it, when you notice that you planted the seeds for that climactic moment back at the beginning of the story when you didn’t have a clue about how it was going to end, but somehow your subconscious did, when you finally get to write “the end,” that’s what writing is about for me. Of course, I’ve only written “the end” on one of my NaNovels so far, but you get my point.
So why not just do it by myself? Why subject myself to the deadline of NaNo when I could just write whenever I wanted, however much I wanted?
nano_09_red_participant_100x100_1.pngBecause apparently my muse loves a deadline and will put forth massive amounts of juicy plotlines only when under duress. Also–there are friends I have today that I would not have had I not gone to a write-in with other StL NaNo’ers. There is nothing else like sitting in a caf with a bunch of other writers, trying to write the most words in ten minutes, yelling out that you need a guy’s name and getting a dozen different answers, from the absurd to the just-right, and then hitting your word count quota for the day, then allowing yourself a gooey butter danish…yes, that is pretty much perfect.
The thought of knowing that 100,000+ folks all around the world are doing the exact same thing you are, trying to figure out plot twists just like you are, puzzling over the perfect setting just like you are, is something amazing.
One day I hope something that I start during NaNo ends up being published. That means I have to actually finish one of them sometime, and maybe this year is that time. Maybe not. All I know is that I have to get that feeling when the words flow and I don’t even have to think about typing, because the story has to get out. It’s a huge rush, and knowing there are other folks laboring under the same deadline just to get that same kick makes it even better.
If you’ve got any questions about NaNoWriMo, feel free to ask. It’s the highlight of my year, no matter the sleep deprivation or the frustration when a character refuses to fit into your storyline for them. But be careful, or you may end up in my novel.
Write on, all.

A new place

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It’s hard to believe that I own a house. I don’t really, not for another thirty years, but that I can claim I bought a house is a pretty strange prospect for me.
I didn’t think I’d buy a house on my own. I thought that I’d have a friend or a husband doing it with me. I’m so glad my boyfriend has been around to help out, but it’s just my name on the deed, and it’s a little weird. Eh. I can say I bought a house before I turned 30. I guess that’s one accomplishment that I can be proud of. Sure doesn’t seem like I’ve done all that much sometimes.
There are lots of boxes downstairs and I think I know what’s in most of them. Organizing, that’s what I need to do, yes.
On the fun side, it’s almost September, which comes before October, which means there’s not too much time before November and NaNo. I have a couple of ideas floating around, and while it looks like I won’t get to do a collaboration with my friend, I think I can figure something out. Better get cracking on that research! Yes, writing fantasy does require research. It has to be believable fantasy, you know.
Interested in spending 30 days and nights in literary abandon? Head over to NaNoWriMo and see what all the fuss is about.