Fleet

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Last Saturday was (among other things) the UAA Outdoor Track & Field Conference Championships back at my alma mater Washington University in St. Louis. It’s been eight years since I ran on that track, but the track alumni have been meeting up at conferences for the last few years, and they planned a tiny alumni meet. Sprint medley, anyone?
News of the meet made me finally purchase that indoor cycle I’d been thinking about getting. I knew I wouldn’t get in the shape I’d ideally have to be in, but I could at least try to drop a few pounds. I somehow managed to hurt my thigh muscles the week before the event, of course, but nothing was going to stop me from running that sprint!
Nothing but a tornado, actually. Yes, the relay (200-200 (me!)-400-800m) was literally on the track (after the tornado sirens went off twice, and the lightning siren once) when someone got the news that a tornado had really touched down in West County and we were all herded to the basement of the Athletic Complex (lots of unwashed wet athletes in a small space, yay!) as the rain poured down.
So I didn’t get to run in a race. But I warmed up and ran a bit, and put on my spikes that hadn’t seen daylight in eight years. And I did warm up sprints before the aborted start, and I remembered how good it felt to run down that track, how different it is to run in spikes and not regular running shoes, how strange to think that at one time I was covering seven meters in a second and maybe, just maybe, I could do that again.
I miss track so much.

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The long and winding road

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Image by tpeñalver via Flickr

Sometimes our dreams feel so far away, lost upon a crooked path that never seems to lead directly to anywhere we want to go. There are distractions and deviations along the way; when we finally get past those, it seems we’re still slogging uphill like Sisyphus (though hopefully without the boulder).
I say I want to write. I better damn well do it, no matter where that path goes. I should follow it and follow my dreams, but I keep finding ways to stray, and other dreams poke their head in and say, “hey, remember me? how you used to like to do fill in the blank?” and I’ll nod and look longingly at the piano or the easel (the one I don’t have, so the analogy breaks down a bit here) or the web design or the whatever-caught-my-fancy-today.
Discipline, that’s what I need. Anyone know where I can find any?
There was supposed to be a party tonight, but it’s off, so I better use the night to my advantage. Let’s see what happens. Motivation, I’m looking at you!

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Why am I afraid?

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2010 Chinese New Year: Year of the Tiger

Image by Photo Maiden via Flickr

Wow, I haven’t posted anything in a long time. I haven’t been inspired. I’m not really now, either, but I figured I should post at least once this year 😉
Mike thinks I’m afraid of writing. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m afraid of what would happen when I finally finish a novel. What on earth would I do then? I don’t know. The unknown is frightening and all that…It’s the Year of the Tiger. Isn’t that supposed to inspire courage? Yes, according to this site: “This courageous and fiery fighter is admired by the ancient Chinese as the sign that keeps away the three main tragedies of a household. These are fire, thieves and ghosts.” Let’s have none of those, please. Let’s be brave and write together, shall we?
(ETA, this site says in the chinese zodiac, monkeys are the “erratic geniuses.” If that’s not me, I don’t know what is.)
I finally bought Scrivener, with my NaNo 09 winner discount, so now I really need to use it. I’ve even got some ideas for the next few chapters. And I could start adding my previous (mostly all unfinished) to Scrivener and use its nifty features to figure out how I can get them done. I really want to be a writer, I do. But my motivation is non-existent. I’ve got to get over that. Really.
Will someone hold me to the writing? I always say I want more money. Well, writing wouldn’t get me much, but it would be more.

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Fireworks

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That’s what I was writing about last, anyway, when I finally won NaNoWriMo this year. A day early, whoo!
Usually my word processor thinks I have about 200 more words than the official NaNo validator does, and that’s what I expected this year–but when I validated the first time, just to see where I was (I was at 45.9k or so) I had lost 800+ words. The next time, at 46.7k, I had lost nearly a thousand. That’s no good. But I resigned myself to writing more…and I did it, just now. Huzzah!
NeoOffice’s final word count: 51219. NaNoWriMo’s word count validator: 50127. I can live with that.
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And no, I’m not done with the story yet. Have a teaser:

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Why I NaNo

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I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo (aka National Novel Writing Month) since 2004, and I’ve been ML (Municipal Liaison, or the person ostensibly running the region) for three years. I’m hoping for my sixth win at the end of November, so that means I’ve talked about this project for a long time now. But every month at the writing meeting, there are newbies who don’t know what NaNo is, which always surprises me (and shouldn’t by now, since I’ve been going to that group for what, four years?). Sometimes I get the “wow, I could never do that” speech, or the “You must be really crazycreative to do that”, or the “I don’t have the time to do it.”
Well, you can do it, I am relatively creative in the grand scheme of things (and don’t get me wrong, there are lots of times when I think I’m insane for doing it), and most of the time, I don’t have the time to be doing NaNo, yet I just keep doing it. Forsooth, you say, but why?
I love to write, no matter how much of a hiatus I take between writing sessions. When you find that moment when the story comes together without you realizing it, when you notice that you planted the seeds for that climactic moment back at the beginning of the story when you didn’t have a clue about how it was going to end, but somehow your subconscious did, when you finally get to write “the end,” that’s what writing is about for me. Of course, I’ve only written “the end” on one of my NaNovels so far, but you get my point.
So why not just do it by myself? Why subject myself to the deadline of NaNo when I could just write whenever I wanted, however much I wanted?
nano_09_red_participant_100x100_1.pngBecause apparently my muse loves a deadline and will put forth massive amounts of juicy plotlines only when under duress. Also–there are friends I have today that I would not have had I not gone to a write-in with other StL NaNo’ers. There is nothing else like sitting in a caf with a bunch of other writers, trying to write the most words in ten minutes, yelling out that you need a guy’s name and getting a dozen different answers, from the absurd to the just-right, and then hitting your word count quota for the day, then allowing yourself a gooey butter danish…yes, that is pretty much perfect.
The thought of knowing that 100,000+ folks all around the world are doing the exact same thing you are, trying to figure out plot twists just like you are, puzzling over the perfect setting just like you are, is something amazing.
One day I hope something that I start during NaNo ends up being published. That means I have to actually finish one of them sometime, and maybe this year is that time. Maybe not. All I know is that I have to get that feeling when the words flow and I don’t even have to think about typing, because the story has to get out. It’s a huge rush, and knowing there are other folks laboring under the same deadline just to get that same kick makes it even better.
If you’ve got any questions about NaNoWriMo, feel free to ask. It’s the highlight of my year, no matter the sleep deprivation or the frustration when a character refuses to fit into your storyline for them. But be careful, or you may end up in my novel.
Write on, all.

A new place

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It’s hard to believe that I own a house. I don’t really, not for another thirty years, but that I can claim I bought a house is a pretty strange prospect for me.
I didn’t think I’d buy a house on my own. I thought that I’d have a friend or a husband doing it with me. I’m so glad my boyfriend has been around to help out, but it’s just my name on the deed, and it’s a little weird. Eh. I can say I bought a house before I turned 30. I guess that’s one accomplishment that I can be proud of. Sure doesn’t seem like I’ve done all that much sometimes.
There are lots of boxes downstairs and I think I know what’s in most of them. Organizing, that’s what I need to do, yes.
On the fun side, it’s almost September, which comes before October, which means there’s not too much time before November and NaNo. I have a couple of ideas floating around, and while it looks like I won’t get to do a collaboration with my friend, I think I can figure something out. Better get cracking on that research! Yes, writing fantasy does require research. It has to be believable fantasy, you know.
Interested in spending 30 days and nights in literary abandon? Head over to NaNoWriMo and see what all the fuss is about.

Dragons and princesses

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Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deeps something helpless that wants help from us.

From Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet, via Jane Friedman’s blog.
The house is looking more livable now…but still lots to do. And an apartment to pack up/clean. Sorry to all the prospective tenants coming to take a look…just don’t have time to tidy up much. I can’t wait until I get moved into my new house. It will be SO nice.

Keys!

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I guess I’m officially an adult: I closed on a house yesterday. I have my very own address. Excuse me while I squee.
ZOMG keys!
Ahem. It’s small but well proportioned and just the right size for me. There is so much work to be done, but eventually it will look really nice, and be, you know, livable with actual appliances and furniture.
One of these days I’ll have a painting party and you can all come. I’ll have a reason to use the tiny grill. And for those of you who don’t want to get your hands dirty, yes, I believe I’ll have a housewarming party too 🙂 Details to follow…sometime.
I’m excited. My bank account cries, and I’m sore already from lugging purchases and cleaning, but this is a good thing. An investment in my future–a life step, a part of the American Dream. Now all I have to do is write the Great American Novel and I can get out of debt. *wink wink*

A Giant Fourth

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Overheard on the radio:
A giant is taking questions like: Are you really a giant? Is your wife a giant too?.
Then he gets this one: How does a giant celebrate the Fourth of July?
He says, “I have to get far away from the fireworks, or else I have to duck” (haha) “no, seriously, I love some hotdogs, some hamburgers, and a good mattress sale.”
?! I don’t even know what mattress store this commercial was for–I was too flabbergasted by the total non sequiteur.
Not so funny: RIP Farrah Fawcett and Jacko’s in the hospital following a heart attack. Pop culture just took a major hit.