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When a librarian finds a murdered historian in the undocumented vaults of the library, she discovers that magic, unusable for centuries, is returning to the world, and those who once wielded it are returning to take back their homeland.

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Image via Wikipedia

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Would you kill to save a life? Would you kill to prove you're right?

A glimmer of an idea teases my muse and I marvel at its source--a 30 Seconds to Mars song. I don't know if there's a story behind it or it's just an idle fragment of bought that could be built upon. I put it here so I'd be held accountable for it. Violent? Maybe. But there's a hint of truth there, a longing for justice, propelling someone headlong into something they could not possibly understand. I don't know why any of these things would be happening, but that's part of the magic of creation, isn't it?

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  iPod touch shuffle
  about to start Lynn Flewelling's The White Road
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I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

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Image by Robb North via Flickr

Do you see an empty road, or a new future?

I'd like to think that it's an invitation to take a new path, one that's completely open to interpretation.

Of course, in real life I'd never take such a road, not without checking a map or pulling out the GPS I hope to afford one day...

Does that ever happen to you? Where you want to do something but the practical side of you holds you back? That's sort of how I feel about writing. I love it, I do. I love the feeling of creating a new world and populating it with characters that run away with the story, of finding new plots when you thought there were none, of writing just to see what happens, because I usually have no clue. But then I think of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in front of seeing the words I've put down show up in a book in a bookstore. Sure, there are people out there who are doing really well with the new ebook publishing model. But call me old-fashioned, I want a book with a professional cover printed by a reputable house with my name at the top. And that's tough to do.

Of course, I have to finish writing the damn thing first. I'm so close--one chapter and an epilogue, which I know some people hate, but I think it's the best way to wrap up the story--but it's not easy to sit down and do the planning I know I need to do so the last chapter is the best it can be (for the first time through, anyway ) There are so many other things clamoring for my time: knitting, crocheting, the iPod apps that Mike always belittles, gardening (yes, it seems I like gardening very much), taking care of the home, working out, and lest we forget, reading. I'm ahead of last year in books but behind during this month, but again, so many things in the way. I need more time in the day, of course.

But I've just got to make time. I've got to set out on that open road, without knowing what's ahead. Sure I may have to make some U-turns along the way, and go back to what works, because no one succeeds 100% of the time. But I just have to think of what waits at the end, or even the next fork, reaching little goals along the way.

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Sometimes our dreams feel so far away, lost upon a crooked path that never seems to lead directly to anywhere we want to go. There are distractions and deviations along the way; when we finally get past those, it seems we're still slogging uphill like Sisyphus (though hopefully without the boulder).

I say I want to write. I better damn well do it, no matter where that path goes. I should follow it and follow my dreams, but I keep finding ways to stray, and other dreams poke their head in and say, "hey, remember me? how you used to like to do fill in the blank?" and I'll nod and look longingly at the piano or the easel (the one I don't have, so the analogy breaks down a bit here) or the web design or the whatever-caught-my-fancy-today.

Discipline, that's what I need. Anyone know where I can find any?

There was supposed to be a party tonight, but it's off, so I better use the night to my advantage. Let's see what happens. Motivation, I'm looking at you!

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That's what I was writing about last, anyway, when I finally won NaNoWriMo this year. A day early, whoo!

Usually my word processor thinks I have about 200 more words than the official NaNo validator does, and that's what I expected this year--but when I validated the first time, just to see where I was (I was at 45.9k or so) I had lost 800+ words. The next time, at 46.7k, I had lost nearly a thousand. That's no good. But I resigned myself to writing more...and I did it, just now. Huzzah!

NeoOffice's final word count: 51219. NaNoWriMo's word count validator: 50127. I can live with that.

And no, I'm not done with the story yet. Have a teaser:

But the stone was not unfeeling--no, I could see from its eyes, shiver minutely at the touch of the snow on my stone shoulders, hear the explosion as what looked like a gigantic firework burst over our stone heads, the pieces of spell-worked elements raining down over the entire city. One of the motes drifted down onto my shoulder, burning a hole in the snow collected there, leaving an ashy mark on the exposed stone. A similar mote fell onto Kaliyah's statue, landing on the outstretched hand, the burnt bit resting in her palm. The spelled chemical pulsed once, but did not feel my life in the statue I had become, and I wondered at the person who possessed enough magic to send such a spell into the sky above the entire city, just to search for us.

I'll try to finish, really. I know I always say that, but I will get to them all eventually. Especially Forging the Forest. I really have to get that one done, or Mike will never forgive me.

  A Dark Knight, The Dark Knight sdtk

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I've participated in NaNoWriMo (aka National Novel Writing Month) since 2004, and I've been ML (Municipal Liaison, or the person ostensibly running the region) for three years. I'm hoping for my sixth win at the end of November, so that means I've talked about this project for a long time now. But every month at the writing meeting, there are newbies who don't know what NaNo is, which always surprises me (and shouldn't by now, since I've been going to that group for what, four years?). Sometimes I get the "wow, I could never do that" speech, or the "You must be really crazycreative to do that", or the "I don't have the time to do it."

Well, you can do it, I am relatively creative in the grand scheme of things (and don't get me wrong, there are lots of times when I think I'm insane for doing it), and most of the time, I don't have the time to be doing NaNo, yet I just keep doing it. Forsooth, you say, but why?

I love to write, no matter how much of a hiatus I take between writing sessions. When you find that moment when the story comes together without you realizing it, when you notice that you planted the seeds for that climactic moment back at the beginning of the story when you didn't have a clue about how it was going to end, but somehow your subconscious did, when you finally get to write "the end," that's what writing is about for me. Of course, I've only written "the end" on one of my NaNovels so far, but you get my point.

So why not just do it by myself? Why subject myself to the deadline of NaNo when I could just write whenever I wanted, however much I wanted?

Because apparently my muse loves a deadline and will put forth massive amounts of juicy plotlines only when under duress. Also--there are friends I have today that I would not have had I not gone to a write-in with other StL NaNo'ers. There is nothing else like sitting in a caf<é> with a bunch of other writers, trying to write the most words in ten minutes, yelling out that you need a guy's name and getting a dozen different answers, from the absurd to the just-right, and then hitting your word count quota for the day, then allowing yourself a gooey butter danish...yes, that is pretty much perfect.

The thought of knowing that 100,000+ folks all around the world are doing the exact same thing you are, trying to figure out plot twists just like you are, puzzling over the perfect setting just like you are, is something amazing.

One day I hope something that I start during NaNo ends up being published. That means I have to actually finish one of them sometime, and maybe this year is that time. Maybe not. All I know is that I have to get that feeling when the words flow and I don't even have to think about typing, because the story has to get out. It's a huge rush, and knowing there are other folks laboring under the same deadline just to get that same kick makes it even better.

If you've got any questions about NaNoWriMo, feel free to ask. It's the highlight of my year, no matter the sleep deprivation or the frustration when a character refuses to fit into your storyline for them. But be careful, or you may end up in my novel.

Write on, all.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 4:01 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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It's hard to believe that I own a house. I don't really, not for another thirty years, but that I can claim I bought a house is a pretty strange prospect for me.

I didn't think I'd buy a house on my own. I thought that I'd have a friend or a husband doing it with me. I'm so glad my boyfriend has been around to help out, but it's just my name on the deed, and it's a little weird. Eh. I can say I bought a house before I turned 30. I guess that's one accomplishment that I can be proud of. Sure doesn't seem like I've done all that much sometimes.

There are lots of boxes downstairs and I think I know what's in most of them. Organizing, that's what I need to do, yes.

On the fun side, it's almost September, which comes before October, which means there's not too much time before November and NaNo. I have a couple of ideas floating around, and while it looks like I won't get to do a collaboration with my friend, I think I can figure something out. Better get cracking on that research! Yes, writing fantasy does require research. It has to be believable fantasy, you know.

Interested in spending 30 days and nights in literary abandon? Head over to NaNoWriMo and see what all the fuss is about.

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"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible."

--Mark Twain

From the Wyrdsmith's blog.

I woke up yesterday with the conclusion of last year's NaNo nearly complete in my head, just before the alarm went off. So of course I had to wake myself up enough to write it down, so I wouldn't forget it. That story must get done!

Busy day today, which is good. Will take my mind off the issue in need of fingers crossed.

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"In art we are once again able to do all the things we have forgotten; we are able to walk on water; we speak to the angels who call us; we move, unfettered, among the stars." --Madeleine L'Engle

Thanks to Isaac from my writing group and NaNo.

I think I might have forgotten a plot point for Red Skirts. But I thought of another one--or maybe it's the same one--so hopefully I'll end up in the same place. Better remember it this time...

Still looking for a house, yes. Here's hoping.

  MythOS, Kelly McCullough
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More pithiness from Neil Gaiman. Gotta reread American Gods sometime.

...I saved the document on the computer, and I realised I'd finished writing a book.

I wondered what I'd learned, and found myself remembering something Gene Wolfe had told me, six months earlier. "You never learn how to write a novel," he said. "You just learn how to write the novel that you're writing."

This housing search has really put a crimp in my reading and writing schedule. I've only read 4 books this month so far, and I don't think I've done any writing at all. I know I had some ideas, though...hopefully they'll wait until figure out my living situation. And when I have a house...maybe I'll have a dedicated writing room. Here's hoping.

  Tales of Dark Fantasy, from Subterranean Press
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:47 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Want to know how an author's royalty check breaks down? Read Lynn Viehl's post on "The Reality of a Times Bestseller" and be either shocked or vindicated, depending on what your viewpoint is...

It took her the better part of a year to get royalty payments on her top-20 bestseller. Sigh.

So no, I don't write for the money. Shoot, if I did, I'd actually have something polished and finished and ready to send off for submission. I really, really don't. I write because I love it, because it makes me happy to find that perfect word or find that magic plot point twist that I somehow worked into the beginning of the story without even knowing it. I'm practical (maybe too practical) and I know that even if I was one of the lucky ones I wouldn't be able to quit my job if I sold a book. But that's okay.

I am one of the lucky ones who has a good job (even if it doesn't pay that well) and I have relative freedom to do whatever I want in my free time as long as I get my work done. It's something that's unlikely *crossed fingers* to fall to a recession, and I work with some really quality people.

Perhaps I'll never write a bestseller (even though the Publishing Game my parents made for my gifted class in 5th grade said I would!). Perhaps I'll have to rethink my stance on self-publishing (especially since I have such wonderful artistic parents). But I can't shake the dream of someday standing in the company of my favorite authors, holding a copy of my own book. And I don't want to.

Dream big.

(Guess I ought to write some more on that NaNovel, eh? )

  King of Pride Rock, Lion King sdtk
  Living with Ghosts, Kari Sperring
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Check out this amazing video that, as Nathan Bransford put it, shows what it's like for a writer. Great music and really cool special effects, too:

World Builder from Bruce Branit on Vimeo.

I need to write more.

  White Knight, Jim Butcher
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I try not to leave bookmarks in things. Whenever I return books to the library I turn them upside down and flip the pages in case I do forget. This site has a bunch of interesting ones from people who aren't quite so anal as me...though I think I did manage to lose a story idea in a book and that was quite sad. I'm sure I'll come up with another one, though

Back from Champaign. Had fun at Leo's bachelorette party, though I was continually wracked with anxiety because I sort of hate planning. I had more than enough activities, so we didn't finish hardly anything...you know, eating and drinking (margaritas and other things--pineapple juice, banana rum and cream make quite a nice drink!) seem to take up a lot of time. Hopefully if I'm ever a bridesmaid for someone else I won't freak out quite so much about it.

Guess I ought to write my toast for the wedding...coming up in three weeks! At least I'll be doing a little writing...sigh. I keep thinking of ideas, but haven't gotten them typed up. Last week was hell at work, long days and stressful assays, but hopefully now I'll have a little less on my shoulders and I can bang something out. Off to groceries!

  Jack Sparrow, PotC: DMC soundtrack
  The Fallen, Thomas E Sniegoski (just finished Slumdog Millionaire)
file under: reallife , writings Posted by Jen at 5:31 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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(From Darths & Droids)

Roleplaying games are, in some sense, all about getting to make decisions in the game world that you never get to make in real life. Decisions that are really important. Decisions that can change the course of history.

The Playing Characters are the people driving the story. What they decide to do really matters to the people around them.

As a Game Master, it's good if you can really underline this point at some stage during an adventure. Make them acutely aware of the import of what they are about to decide. Make it painfully clear that the lives of thousands, or millions, or even billions of people will be affected by this decision. And make it a really tough one. Back the characters into a corner against their morals (alignment is a handy tool here). Throw them on to the horns of a dilemma.

Put them between a rock and a hard place.

Scylla and Charybdis.

Make them sweat.

Make their own safety hang in the balance as well.

And then give them a time limit.

Yes, this is directed people participating in RPGs, but it makes sense for writing as well. Conflict drives the story and makes it interesting. Course, somehow you have to come up with the conflict, which can be rather difficult...

Thanks to Ash for pointing out Darths & Droids to me.

  Love Came Down at Christmas, Jars of Clay
  Fathom, Cherie Priest
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I did it! 50k in 28 days, boo-yah! Ashley had this silly little idea that since she crossed the 50k finish line on the 24th (and she's 24 this year) that I should try to finish on the 28th (since I'm 28, and man do I feel old). Well, I did. YES WE CAN.

And I'm not done with the story, but I'm close. I know, I know, I say that every year, but this time I think I mean it. I think.

The ending is much better than the beginning. Makes it more fun. That's good when you have to write 233 words in 7 minutes in order to slide in the official word count before midnight...

Now to finish it. (Yes, I quoted A Knight's Tale.)

ETA, whoa. Win No. 5. Five years I've been doing this. Five stories I've wrangled out of my brain. I might actually be a writer someday.

  Marry Me, PotC:AWE Remixed
  Odd Thomas, Dean Koontz
file under: celebration , writings Posted by Jen at 11:59 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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From a post by Calanoriel on the NaNo forums:

We few, we happy few, we band of authors;
For they today that sheds their ink with me
Shall be my sibling; be we ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle our condition:
And non-writers in the world now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their day jobs cheap whiles any speaks
That wrote with us upon NaNoWriMo!

(yes, that is like the speech from Shakespeare's Henry V.)

Still working on the NaNovel. At least I got them out of the brothel. Almost.

ETA this from shonirue on the forums:

Brothers! Sisters! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Wrimos fails, when we forsake our novels and break all bonds of word count goals, but it is not this day. An hour of sleep and shattered dreams when the age of novelists come crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you write, Wrimos of the world!

Long Live LotR.

  3x5 (live), John Mayer

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	367
10
lab.drwicked.com

This isn't my best. I've done 480 words in 10 minutes before, but I'm trying to fill time in the story before the bad guy comes along and it's hard to improv that. Just trying to get word count goal for the night. Almost there!

  Fireworks, HP OotP sdtk

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:22 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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So it's the Ides of November, and NaNo is halfway done. And I've written 25k+ words, so I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I don't know where the story is supposed to be, but that's part of the fun, isn't it?

Have an excerpt.

I leaned back against the blue velvet of the curtains, and lost my balance as the window behind them clinked open. Catching myself with a hand on the edge of the settee, I twitched aside the curtain to see what lay behind the window.


The thick fabric must have been there to block the moonlight streaming through mullioned glass. Stripes of the grey light flowed across the floor of a long gallery from a set of south-facing windows, and I glanced behind me to see if anyone would notice my disappearance behind the curtain.


To my delight, no one looked in my direction, for a series of thuds drew attention to the dance floor. I could see Letitia's long neck in the center of the scrum, and I wondered if she had been the instigator or simply a gawker. I cared not, for the distraction allowed me to slip behind the curtain with no one the wiser.


Careful to pull the drape shut once I slipped through, I gazed down the length of the gallery, marveling at the absolute clarity of the glass. Every window boasted the same curtains as I had just stepped through, pulled to the side to let in the moonlight. It leeched the color from my dress, leaving it dark as the night outside and setting my gloves to glowing.


Mirrors took the place of windows on the opposite side of the gallery, and the image reflected there made me stop and stare. I looked ghostly, my painted skin matching my white gloves and my dress like a mourning garment. Then I stepped into one of the beams of moonlight, and the imaged changed: an angel, perhaps, haloed in the glow, tricking glints of red from my hair.


I moved back quickly when I saw that, ingrained in me as it was to avoid all of that color. I shook my head at the folly. Seemed a silly thing that our lives revolved around the whim of an old man who probably did not even remember why he made the rule.


The mirrors and windows continued down the gallery, and I followed the bath of a dark stone that lined the floor, every so often looking out the glass or into the mirrors, but all I ever saw was my reflection--until the face peering back at me was not my own.


I gasped and nearly fell down, just avoiding tripping over the train of my dress. I narrowed my eyes and took a step forward, and knew I faced a painting, but one so lifelike that I could not resist reaching out a hand to touch the canvas, just to make sure.


'Twas Edward, of a surety. The Baron's long-dead son, lost to a vicious murder so many years ago. Did he live now, we would be of an age. The full-length painting showed Edward in antique dress, a style forty years out of date, standing against a backdrop of fiery maples. His hair was unfashionably long, curling dark around his shoulders, and the artist had managed to make his eyes spark even in the flat paint. A long nose drew the eyes to smiling lips, red and full, ready to break into a grin. The color of his jacket was faded in the moonlight, but I knew it was a bright carmine, echoing the shade of his lips.


I drew my fingers away from the forbidden color. No dust marred the tips of my gloves, and I looked closely at the frame. No spiderwebs in the ornate carving of the frame. The portrait hung straight on the wall, and the alcove was pristine, with clean candles in the sconces beside it, ready to be lit.


Cocking my head, I examined his face again. Kindly, happy. From the stories, Edward had been his father's joy, especially after his mother died (the rumor being her carriage lost its driver on the rather hazardous trip from Brighton, and in the darkness the horses took her over a cliff). He certainly looked content, and I wondered what it would be like to know him in person.


The painting did not look like only paint and canvas. The skin looked more alive than my own, though probably covered in the same amount of pigment. I traced the line of his jaw, feeling the brushstrokes through the fabric of my gloves. Of course no life stirred beneath my fingers.


"It is a ball, my lord. Since there is no one to introduce us, I must be rude and do that myself," I said, smiling a little at my folly. "Miss Madeline Thorne at your service. Would I could save a dance for you, Edward Trevelyan," I said, whispering, so my words would not carry into the hall. "We are so close, after all," I said, making a vague gesture towards the dancers.


The creaking of wood made me whirl so I faced the way I had come. I saw no one, but the curtain moved, and I whipped my head around, looking for a place to hide. Surely I was not supposed to be here, not with the painting of the lord's son, accoutered in his red frock coat...

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:50 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Sometimes I forget how much I love it.

Take right now, for example: I have this idea for this year's NaNo that it will have a quasi-Victorian setting, maybe based on reality, maybe a little steampunk, so I looked up books on Victorian history. For those keeping score, that was when Queen Victoria ruled England, circa 1840-1870. I now own three books on Victorian history, because not only are the books full of information and juicy little tidbits that will pad out my daily word count nicely, but sometimes they're just hilarious. I'm sure that someday people will look back at our time and wonder what we were thinking, because that's what's happening when I read these. And I'm having fun. I like learning. History can be interesting!

But I'm not the sort of person to seek out nonfiction books normally. I have to have a good reason. And research for NaNo is a pretty darn good reason.

This is why I know I could be a professional writer. Because I don't mind the research. It's quite fun to absorb all the bits of information during the research phase then have them suddenly coalesce in a somewhat coherent whole during the draft phase.

Here's to research. May it never get boring.

And here's to me, who got a whole lot of books (and the 2nd season of Heroes), because it's that little thing known as my birthday. Huzzah.

  The Hound and the Falcon, Judith Tarr and Inside the Victorian House, Judith Flanders
file under: books , celebration , reallife , thoughts , writings Posted by Jen at 12:33 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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From Justine Larbalestier's blog.

file under: reallife , writings Posted by Jen at 1:14 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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from here.

[Fiction] Friday Challenge for March 14, 2008:

Backstory: Tell about your characters feelings toward animals, and why she feels that way.

Aislinn is a character in my 2007 NaNo novel. She is the daughter of a king, and knew she was destined to give her life to the forest surrounding the castle since she was a young girl. She rides the forest often, loves her hunting horse, notices the little people and especially the groom in the stables. Since the world I set this novel in is your typical quasi-medieval sorta English countryside (it was supposed to be real England once, but I lost the time to do research), people know how to hunt. They use bows and spears, but I'd like to think that they do somewhat like the American Indians did: they thank their deity for the animal that gives up its life so that they might live. Aislinn has never had a pet, not unless you consider a horse a pet (and she doesn't, not when her mare derives as much joy from running as she does), but there were always dogs racing around the great hall, scrounging for bones. She tolerates them but makes sure they don't follow her to her rooms.

She has a soft spot for deer and rabbits.

  Oh My God, Jars of Clay
  Renegade's Magic, Robin Hobb
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Yesterday I was assaulted by an idea for a SF story while I was processing samples. I couldn't just leave the samples there to write the idea down, so I had to keep repeating the opening line to myself while I finished the set. It kept growing, too, so soon I had a paragraph to remember.

This is why I write things down, so I don't have to remember them.

Anyway, SF is not my chosen genre. Yes, SF and fantasy get lumped together in one section (usually a small section; the library near work has less than one aisle of the two combined) but to me, they're very different. I like science, yes, I like mechanical workings and how things are put together, but vast starscapes bore me sometimes. Not to look at, of course, but I wouldn't want to see them for years on end. And yes, I'm aware that I sound like a contradiction.

So when I announced the idea assault (after a guy in the group mentioned something he had written that was out of character for him), the ceiling was examined for signs of collapse.

I know whose fault it was: I had to read a short story and crit it for the writing group, and it was futuristic SF with a human side. And I know what was at fault too: after snowing all morning, the sun burst out with a vengeance, shining off the mirror glass of the windows of the building across the construction site outside the lab. Ruminating on SF story+sunlight=story idea, I guess.

Counting this one, that's four separate stories that I've got rattling around in my head since January (well, November, if you count the big still-needs-to-be-finished NaNo 2007 novel). Seems a lot to me. Probably isn't to famous authors, but it makes me want to write. I want to know where these stories go. I want to know why the ideas made themselves known so forcefully, and I want to share them. When they're finished, of course.

Oh yes. Happy half-birthday to me.

  Let Your Love Be Strong, Switchfoot
  Something from the Nightside, Simon Green
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 9:59 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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So if you've been reading this blog for a while, you might know that the writer's group that I participate in has written an anthology of short stories based on landmarks of St. Louis. I'm in it, with a modern day faerie tale that takes place at the Muny (the Municipal Theater in Forest Park, the oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater in America, with trees growing out of the stage...)

And by golly, the book is out! You can check out the page at www.toastedraviolibook.com (though there's not much there at the moment) which has a link to buying the book online, do a book search on Amazon for Toasted Ravioli, or (the best way) ask me for a book in person. That way you get a discount and a signed copy and I (or the group) gets more money.

Or better yet, come to our first signing this Saturday (tomorrow, eek) the 26th of January at Legacy Books, 5249 Delmar (at Union) from 12 pm to 5 pm. All the authors will be there, so you can get a full complement of signatures on your new book, and the authors will read from their work. There should also be a Q&A session for the curious.

I hope to see you there!

  No Such Thing, John Mayer
  Hood, Stephen Lawhead
file under: books , celebration , reallife , writings Posted by Jen at 12:40 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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We are what we believe we are. C. S. Lewis

So I have to believe I am a writer. And I really have to get Bastian out of that tree.

Back to work.

file under: muses , writings Posted by Jen at 8:45 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I am made of win! Four years in a row, for 200,000 words. Four stories, one complete. This one is almost there. Just one more "chapter" and I'll be done. Then I wonder what I'll do with it.

(made by me with the lolcat builder @ icanhascheezburger.com)

Time for dinner, at 10 pm. Ah, writing.

  Mischief Managed!, HP 3 sdtk

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 9:50 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I am 1200 words from finishing NaNo 2007 (aka I'm 97.6% done). The story might be done. Might go a few thousand over. I'm pretty happy with it, though like all first drafts it has some very wonky moments and discontinuities, but those can be fixed.

Apparently in my even-numbered years of doing NaNo I will be able to complete the challenge by not only writing 50,000 words in November, but finishing the story. Woot! Now if I could only figure out what the heck to do with them after they've been edited up. I'd really dearly love to submit something to magazines or contests next year. My problem is that I don't write short stuff...I'm not very good at being concise when it comes to non-technical writing. Oh well. There's a few ideas rattling around in my head that could conceivably be short...ish...

in the end it's better to say too much
Than to never to say what you need to say again

(John Mayer, Say)

Now it's off to sleep, and one more day of the crazy insanity that is NaNoWriMo 2007.

  Say, John Mayer
  The Golden Compass, Phillip Pullman
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 1:05 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Check this out: I have written 11724 words of Forging the Forest (working title, anyway), and I needed to hit 11667 today. Go me! I'm on track and ahead by a few. I believe, in the four years that I've been doing NaNo, this is the earliest I've ever been ahead, if indeed I've ever been ahead before the month was almost over...let's see if I can't stay this way.

My cousin's wedding was wonderful, I got my dress sewn and was complimented numerous times on it (though they're all family, so dunno how much of that was just familial bias or awe at the fact that I actually, yanno, took the time to sew something versus an actual appreciation of the design of the dress), finished knitting the fingerless mitts (though they, and the HP scarf, need to be blocked), and my mom's show went well last weekend. She's got another one this weekend, so if you are in the Lou and need some christmas presents, stop on by...

and I finished Elemental Magic, a romance anthology which includes a short story by my favorite author Carol Berg. So sweet to realize the characters are (SPOILER) characters we (sort of) know. Hers was quite the best in the book. I could be biased, I realize.

I wrote 2400 words today. Not quite as good as yesterdays almost 3k, but pretty darned good. I almost don't know what to do with myself. Guess I'll get a little extra sleep.

What did you do today?

  Why Georgia, John Mayer
  Guess I should return Austenland to the library. Back to Leven Thumps 2.
file under: books , celebration , reviews , writings Posted by Jen at 12:12 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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At SF Novelists, the post author says he can't read for pleasure without analyzing the book for writerly flaws. That makes me sad, and it obviously makes the author sad as well, since he's vowed to read a book for fun by the end of the year. Hurrah! Although...just one book? Good Lord, if I don't have the joy of reading once I'm a "real" writer, do I want to do it?

Perhaps the reason why I haven't exactly gotten anything in publishable form yet is because I read too much for pleasure. I always have a book with me. You could truthfully say that I am addicted to reading. I hope I never lose the joy of marveling at an author's ability to manipulate my emotions and show me a different world. I hope you all have that pleasure.

Kelly McCullough says the best way to write is to write. He's right (haha, I'm punny), but there are certainly days when that doesn't seem possible. I'm a little run down right now, what with getting ready for Wrockstock Spooktacular (which includes a heck of a lot of laundry, knitting/fringing/probably not blocking a PoA scarf, and packing) and my cousin's wedding (which includes sewing a dress and retouching photos and dealing with all the attendant issues of putting many people in a small space) and NaNoWriMo (of which I am co-Municipal Liasion of the St. Louis Region and therefore need to get people to come to write-ins and make them fun, and I need to get a pair of knitted mitts done so my hands don't freeze in the apartment during furious writing episodes). Oh, right. Can't forget about Artists Boutique, the art show that has my lovely momma on committee. Whew. Wish me luck.

I hope you all are getting more sleep than me. It's a bad thing when you're sleep deprived before NaNo...

  The Other Boleyn Girl, Philippa Gregory
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 3:35 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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(via storytelling) Norman Rockwell's summary of his work process:
1. Hey, this is looking like it'll turn out pretty good
2. My God, I've ruined it. Look at this mess!
3. Wait. Maybe I could -.

Sounds like NaNo I predict that I will be listening to the PotC 3 and Elizabeth:The Golden Age soundtracks quite a bit during this November. I still haven't gotten my NaNo ML privileges yet, but they are promised soon...

One of these days I'm going to be able to laugh at my writing insecurities.

  At Wit's End, Pirates 3 soundtrack

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 9:28 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Writers write, and it isn't some flippant thing done in the rags of spare time. It's identity. It's soul. --Kate Elliott, on Deep Genre

There are days when I feel like a writer, and days when I don't. I know that if I want to make a dream come true and write my great novel, I have to do it, and do it lots, and do it well. There really is no excuse, even when I make one, like I never seem to be in the mood. I've proven to myself that I can write every day, damn the other things that need to get done, and do well in the other things even in the face of NaNo. I just don't seem to do it well without the pressure of a deadline.

The other day, someone asked me what I really wanted to do in the future. My dad answered for me: "She's a writer." It made me happy, but a little sad, too. I do want to be a writer. I think I'm good enough (though I could be suffering from incompetency and unaware of it [journal article, PDF]), and I have plenty of ideas. But there's quite a lot between the idea and a book you hold in your hands at Borders, and sometimes I don't think I have enough to get through that. Sort of like medical school. I think I probably would make a good doctor, but medical school is not the sort of thing you play at. I see the med students walk around campus and am always a little disappointed in myself for not being good enough to join them. At least writing doesn't cost nearly as much.

I'm very excited for November. It means that, even though I'll be insanely busy, at the end I'll have a wonderful (if verbose and full of continuity errors) chunk of story that I will be pleased to continue working on.

Here's to writing. Here's to following your dream, and finding your soul. I only hope I can.

  Horseback Address, from the Elizabeth: the Golden Age soundtrack
  The Quarters Novels: Volume One, Tanya Huff
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 2:50 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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The NaNoWriMo site officially opened for the season yesterday (or today, depending on where in the country you are), and I'm ready to write. November seems alternately too far away or way too soon. I had a nice brainstorm about this year's story yesterday, and I think I've got a nice plot worked out. I keep having doubts about the originality of the story, which seems to be a trend with me, but I don't *think* I've read anything like it...

I've noticed an annoying trend, though. Each year it seems like I have to use the 'forgot password' tool for the NaNo site, even though the computer has a cookie stored. And for some reason I'm not getting the email saying that I've requested a new one...so, blah.

I'm still catching up on missed sleep from the weekend, which I should tell you about...maybe later. Probably should do some work!

  Bolero, Moulin Rouge 2 soundtrack

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:08 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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(doo da, doo da)

...but I can't tell you or Carol Berg will kill me, haha. This weekend at Archon I had the privilege of hearing some of the beginning of Carol's next book, Breath and Bone at a private reading. According to her, I'm one of about 7 people who know. Sweet! The book comes out in January, and I'm even more keen to read it now than I was after the end of the first book in the Lighthouse Duet, Flesh and Spirit when it came out in May. Excuse me while I squee.

Archon (the St. Louis sci-fi/fantasy/comics/pop-culture convention that's really in Collinsville IL) was very good. I debated about going for quite a while, because it was so expensive this year. Archon 31 was also NASFiC, since Worldcon was awarded to a non-North American site (Yokohama, Japan). It was, therefore, a national con and not a regional one, and theoretically worth more, I guess. I have very limited con experience, so I can't tell you if it really was bigger than normal (though some of my new con friends say it wasn't). I knew Carol Berg would be there, and I really wanted to see what she had to say. I took at look at the programming and decided that it would be worth it to pay that much, and indeed, it was. Thank goodness I have a car that could make the forty-mile round trip now.

There were quite a few writing panels, and I've got many notes which are going to live in my manuscript folder. It was pretty cool to interact with authors and agents, some of whom I've only encountered on blogs. And it's doubly cool to actually talk with the authors, most of whom are really nice and surprisingly approachable, especially for a shy girl like me (unless I'm talking about myself, sigh. then I seem to run on forever). It was wonderful to actually have a discussion with one of my favorite authors about writing (Carol sat down with me for an entire hour) and get some great advice. I was really intending to sit down this evening and write some on my novel, but the computer thwarted me with its one-two punch of slowness and browser-crashing in the middle of my entry, sigh.

It wasn't just writing. I went to panels on Harry Potter and Firefly, attended a workshop on Irish Ceili dancing and belly dancing, and saw the SFWA Musketeers demonstrate fencing techniques.Saw my cousin Brian, but didn't get to attend any of his panels. The writing panels really made it worth it, even if the days were looong.

I had a couple of mini-epiphanies about the novel while at panels, so that's good. I've just got to get the damn thing going. I can't believe how far I haven't gotten in the story, sigh. The workshops are going to be helpful, though, especially ones like Writing Realistic Violence and Plots that Work. And of course Carol's very good advice. I still can't believe I got to monopolize an author like that. She was very nice about it. I felt awfully stalkerish. Some people want to meet movie stars or sports celebs; I geek out over authors. She had some helpful hints for the anthology which I need to follow up on, and she had a dedicated cadre of fans that followed her around the whole weekend, so I made some new friends. Thank you, Carol, this weekend meant alot to me.

Maybe I'll fit in a little writing before it's time for bed...

(incidentally, this is entry 700 for this blog. Sheesh. I know not all of them are pithy and meaningful, but it seems a large number to me...)

file under: books , celebration , fantasy , writings Posted by Jen at 10:25 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Tuesday night, I met Jim Butcher, author of the Dresden Files and the Codex Alera, and have two books signed by him and actually interacted with the man, and that made me a happy girl. (Until my class presentation partner emailed me a totally changed presentation at 11:30 pm, but that's another story.)

Jim's a really funny guy. And he seems like he cares about his readers. He spent about an hour on Q&A, various insightful questions by readers who obviously care about his stories I was seated right next to him, since I sort of sidled up along the side of a bookshelf so I could set my bookbag down (I was carrying my laptop and a bunch of papers for the presentation. I did *some* work, honest). The speaker for his mic was next to me, so it was a little loud, but not terrible.

I was so proud I had the courage to ask a question. I'm not usually that bold. But he's very approachable. I asked how he comes up with the twists at the end of his books. He answered that what normally happened is that he piles up every bad thing he can on his main character, then figures that he'll get out of it somehow. He sends off chapters to his beta readers (man, what I wouldn't give to be a part of *that* group) and every so often he'll mention, 'see, I *knew* he'd get out of it somehow,' and someone will write back saying, 'you mean you didn't know beforehand?' So I feel better about my stuff if a famous best-selling author doesn't know how his stuff will end either.

There were probably fifty to eighty people there (I'm terrible at estimating, though), so the signing line wasn't too long. I brought White Night and Cursor's Fury and stood behind a lady who works for an internet service provider as a tech. Which I should look into, because more money would be nice. (Though, on the upside, I got a very positive annual review from my boss today, so perhaps a raise is on the horizon?) The lady knew about NaNo, which always amazes me. I have met so many people who don't know what it is that I have a little spiel that I spin out to inform them

When I got up to the table where he was signing, Jim was very nice and said how are you, etc, and I told him thanks for writing the books and that he's an influence on m writing and I've got 65k of a novel I hope to finish this year. And he didn't sound at all exasperated when he told me to make sure that when I finish this one to write the beginning of the next. Which I've already done, actually I hope that when I'm a fancy published writer I can be as generous to my fans as he is to his.

Side note: the neurobio presentation went pretty well, aside from some random technical difficulties. We had a video clip that should theoretically have been embedded in the presentation, but every time the file switched computers, it wouldn't show up. It's not that hard to Insert>>Movie, so I wasn't too worried. I stopped by my lab before class to print out slides and outlines and bibliographies, and I inserted the movie again and did a cursory check over the file. Things seemed fine.

Get to class, check out the file, and lo! the movie works. Cool. Close the file (which was a bad idea, I guess) and when it comes time to actually present, does the movie play? Of course not. No big deal, just play it off the desktop.

The fun part was when, in the middle of the pres, some slides randomly lost their text. All of them were slides with pictures on them, so at least they weren't blank slides, but there's a reason there's text on the slides...to remind you what to say. Luckily my partner had an old printout of slides, so we were able to present *some*thing, but that sure was annoying. I don't think it was a mac-pc conversion issue, because that hadn't happened before, but maybe it was a difference between M$2000 and XP. Most of the slides with missing text hadn't been edited in a few days, so I don't know where the text went. Weird.

I did make a mistake on the identity of a receptor on a slide that lost its text, but I at least figured it out. I think my partner might have introduced more slides than I, but perhaps it was simply that the slides he presented had more information on them, and he read them, slowly, instead of *presenting.* Eh. I answered questions, though, and presented better. I think. I knew more about the slides because I typed most of them up. Hope it showed. Had a few people ask questions where I was able to say, "and that's the next slide," so I had good flow. Nice to know that I can still be good at some design elements.

  And Now We Are Free, Gladiator soundtrack
  Moonshine, Rob Thurman
file under: books , funny , writings Posted by Jen at 5:51 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Strange to think that five years ago today I saw my first Lord of the Rings movie. It was so long ago I have to link you to my first blog. Life has never been the same, eh?

What did I do before Orlando Bloom, elvish, Tolkien? I bet you can trace the upward movement of my lifetime word count in all my stories from December 2001 on...there were a few years there, in high school, I think, when I didn't write at all, unless required...yet now I have 150,000 words in three years, and probably equal to that with other writing projects.

And think of all the money I've spent on the franchise, eek

  John Mayer, Wheel (Live)
  Academ's Fury, Jim Butcher (yes, again)
file under: lordoftherings , writings Posted by Jen at 4:24 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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There's a whole story that goes along with it, but I'd be late for the NaNo TGIO (Thank Goodness It's Over) party if I did. So for now, bask in the glorious that is me and my (perhaps quarter-of-the-way finished) novel.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 5:48 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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One week until Halloween and... November. When that crazy writing thing goes on, you know...
Check this out: Wired 14.11: Very Short Stories. A bunch of famous people wrote 6-word stories, and some of them are very good.

Like...
I'm dead. I've missed you. Kiss ... ?
- Neil Gaiman

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

There are lots more. You should take a look.

Oh, and Happy Legolas Day. Check the archives if you're lost.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:29 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Writing is exhilarating, when it's working. It's mostly working right now. I finally got out of the boring beginning (yes, I admit it, it's boring right now. That will change, I hope) and presented the conflict. Sort of. Now I get to rush to the end, because I'm fighting both time and word count limits. But I'm a sprinter, and I have a kick.

Heh. Hot damn. I was worried there for a bit that the fairy tale I was working on wasn't going to end up with any fairies in it.

Wanna see my Harry? No, not that Harry. Not that other Harry, either, though admittedly influenced by him. The Harry of my story. Funny how I have no problem finding guys to model my characters after, but the girls are much more difficult. Anyway. this guy is quite a muse.

Back to work. Both kinds.

  Pompeii, E.S. Posthumus

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 1:34 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Well, it's true. I can finally cross off my Roswell fanfic as my only completed fiction work. Well, first draft of a completed work, anyway.

I finished Artist of Heaven tonight around 11:35pm. Ok, yesterday. It has approximately 52206 words, or as few as 51977, depending on which word count you take most seriously. I'll have to do some editing (some! as if that isn't an understatement) but overall I'm pleased. Thank goodness there was no falling Zip disk troubles to worry about, and Thank You Lord that my computer has performed (nearly) flawlessly since it was fixed just before NaNo. Life is good.

Happy December!

  Coldplay: Clocks

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 12:12 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Say hello to Artist of Heaven. 50723 words and counting. I'm almost done with it, and I'd like to think I'd finish it tonight. Done just a few hours earlier than last year I'm happy with this one, it's got some gaping plot holes and some inconsistent characters, but it all worked together quite nicely.

Now all I have to do is study the massive amounts of muscles in the human body for the quiz tomorrow...

file under: celebration , writings Posted by Jen at 8:18 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Two days until the end of November. 3100 words left. Do you think I can make it? I might even be "done" with the story then, since I don't think I have all that much to tell. Think of that. A complete story in one month. It would be nice.

Of course, it would be even easier to do if I weren't suddenly interested in a series of books by Piers Anthony, written back in the 80s/early 90s. I'm currently on number 3 in the Incarnations of Immortality series, and they've been very satsifactory so far. Check them out. Wish me luck.

At least it's getting cold, so I have no desire to be out and about.

  With A Tangled Skein
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 4:31 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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...so I'm only a day late. Hope you all had lots of turkey and mashed potatoes. Sooo much food, as usual, at my grandparents' house.

Since it is actually the 25th, Happy Birthday Mom! I love you.

And in writing news...you knew there was going to be writing news, didn't you? I'm three-quarters (well, 76.76%)of the way finished, with 6 days left. Let's see if I can write 11k + in the next week, shall we? All while learning the numerous muscles of the body. Oh dear.

Family is in town so hopefully we'll get to do lots of fun things and I will avoid spending too much money, because unfortunately rent is due soon. Can't wait to see RENT in theaters and Wicked! this weekend. Whee!

Somewhere in there I'm going to have to figure out when to write. Wish me luck...and let me know who you think should be the winner of a fight between the archangel Gabriel and the Devil.

Sleep!

  Ben Jelen, Give It All Away
  Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader
file under: celebration , writings Posted by Jen at 12:17 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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(here's a fangirl moment: HARRY POTTER! Squee! And yes, I will be dressing up for the showing. How much so, I haven't determined yet, since it will likely be cold. But dammit, I have a costume, and I'm going to use it! I made a skirt, for heaven's sake. Only twelve hours before I get to see it...)

I just thought I'd inform you all that I have passed the halfway point for NaNo. I'm actually 52% finished, and it's only two days past the Ides of November...this weekend will be pretty crazy, so I'll be lucky if I get anything written tomorrow (must remember to bring the laptop to type while waiting in line for the movie!) but hopefully I can make pages (to quote Laurell K Hamilton) later in the weekend when I'm not helping my parents out with the two (count 'em, 2) art shows this weekend. Eek! Gladly I will accept your ideas about angels and put them in the story, no charge. I've already plundered my apartment and garden and Forest Park for the story, why not your ideas?

everything's going to change, isn't it? Brownie points to those who know what I'm talking about.

{ETA: I forgot to mention that, surprisingly, I aced my latest lab practical! Largely due to the fact that I got all the bonus questions right, but it's always a very happy thing to see the 'X correct out of Y" with the X bigger than the Y. At least I can remember some things...}

  Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire soundtrack
  "Sunshine, Robin McKinley
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 12:11 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I'm somewhere in the vicinity of 8000 words right now. Depending on which program I'm using, I have 8400+ or 8500+. At home I have more. I like that counter better. I'm still behind, though. I should have been at 10k last night, so I need to work harder. I did write almost 3500 words last night, though, so it can be done. I just have to get my butt in gear and do so.

I have a new computer at work. It's very pretty, for all its PC-ness. I had to remember all my passwords and programs that I had on the old one, but wow, it's fast. And in eight months it will be obsolete. Wow.

Guess I should get home and write some more...it's sad to see my potential progress go down on the meter, so I would like to make it go up...

see you on the flip side. (11 days to HP 4!)

  
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 5:36 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Another year, another November, another NaNo...With my lack of computer, I only wrote some outline-type things last night after midnight. Hopefully I can stick with this story...don't know how it's going to work out, but I've got some good ideas. Feel free to hop over to Artist of Heaven and check things out...but you'd have to comment if you want to read the good stuff Well, I hope it will be good.

Unfortunately I could only go down from my stellar performance on the first A&P exam, but I only missed two this time, so yay. Still good. I should have studied levers more carefully.

/*soapbox
And any of you liberals out there who are PO'd at Bush's stupidity and malleability, please go sign this petition. The Supreme Court should not be dominated by any one political party.
end soapbox */

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 9:58 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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From oneword., when I should be studying. Just thought I'd share a little writing blurb with you.

The prompt was "midnight."

I thought I had seen it all but the night was more beautiful than ever. and I knew that I had someone waiting for me on the other side of dawn, and that made it all the sweeter. who knew that the darkness of the night would make the morning worth waking up for?

It's pretty silly, but that's what you get from a brain saturated with MCAT-ness. Please pray for me. It will be good or it will be bad, and there's nothing I can do about once it's over. I don't think I'm prepared enough (haven't even written practice essays) but my mother is convinced that I test well and everyone thinks I'm smart. Quite a trick, eh, to have all these people thinking I know what I'm doing all these years?

On the upside, I got invited to my first bachelorette party. Strip club and dancing On the downside, it's on Saturday, so that will be a loooong day.

Another upside: time off tomorrow! Downside: studying! Sigh. Hopefully the studying will be on the upside.

  Prime Minister's Love Theme, Love Actually sdtk
  The Belgariad: Volume II
file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:53 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Word Count

50139 / 50000 words

In case you're wondering, the nickel bit in the title is in reference to Lell's lovely encouragement and motivation of offering a nickel to write a heckuva lot of words one night when I was truly behind. Thanks Lell. You've been such a dear!

I will try to post more about it when I get myself sorted out. For now, I think I'm going to try that little thing called going to bed before 2 am.

But here's a taste:

"It's just something else to get used to. Before I came here, you know, I didn't believe anything like this could be real. I thought I was going crazy. Or my imagination was running wild," Jon said, running his hands through his hair, the coppery curls standing in disarray. "But now I find out that they were truly my memories, that I had lived before. I think I've accepted that with remarkable aplomb, really, but now you're saying that I'm some sort of magician?"

"Not only a magician," Taliesin returned. "It is the heritage of kings, the right of power. But you wanted to eschew that for normalcy, or what little you could have of it, since royalty is rarely ever allowed the chance of liberty. But even when faced with proof of the forces arrayed against you, you elected to trust in the strength of your body rather than anything mystical, the word of your advisers. Would you consider it, embracing this power within you?"

Jon looked at his hands, staring at them like he expected to see something different about them. "What could I do?" he asked softly.
"Become more," Taliesin whispered.

  National Treasure Soundtrack

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 11:37 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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National Novel Writing Month - National Novel Writing Month

The elusive green purple bar. The green purple bar of 'winning.' I'm so close to 'finishing' NaNo...only about 2000 words left. We'll see if I make those tonight, what with actually *working* at work and the Spidey 2 dvd coming out tonight...must also remember to pick up the National Treasure soundtrack, because it was fun. And maybe Hero, though I should probably wait until I see it to buy it. Ah well.

And just in case you were curious...I have been around. Just figured that if I was writing, I ought to be writing NaNo, not posting. I'm sure you'll see much more of me than you like soon enough. Silly Orgo. Test in a week! Eek!

  Jars of Clay: Portrait of an Apology

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 9:56 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I've realized that I really enjoy looking things up for writing my story, almost more than writing. This is, at this moment, probably because I don't want to have to do a bit of expository backstory which is a pain in the butt to write and frankly, quite boring. But I think I've got more of a plot now. Which is good, because I'm still very much behind...like 11,000 words behind. Which is why I should be writing right now instead of posting. Ah well. You know me, the queen of procrastination.

But I did want to share one funny thing I've found on my researching...Duncan McLeod, the main character in the Highlander the Series tv show, is a fine upstanding (immortal) scotsman, right? While researching an appropriately menacing Welsh, Scottish, or English first name starting with M I found out what Duncan's name means. I got a laugh out of it. Doesn't mean you will. Perhaps I've just been staring at the screen too long.

DUNCAN, DONNCHADH, DONNACHADH: brown warrior
MACLEOD, MACCLOUD: son of the ugly man
(from 20000 names.)

  Mandy Moore & Jonathan Foreman: Someday We'll Know

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 3:31 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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The Art of the Lord of the Rings So it's the halfway point of NaNo and I'm only at 34%. Ugh. Also, my story keeps not wanting to be saved to zip, so if I write anything today, it will be with the hope that I start where I left off last night. Bugger. Ah well. I guess that gives me an excuse to read the chapter and a half of orgo that I didn't this weekend. Sigh. I have fallen into the trap of 'oh, there's time, you can spend a little time on ----' and then there isn't time anymore. Blast.

The orgo test comes back tonight...*prays* sigh. I really have to do better with this. I just hope that the last test isn't during the last week of NaNo. It would be pretty hopeless then. Ah well. Wish me luck!

Partied with Olga this weekend. We went to Panama Red's downtown...they had a Brazilian band playing. It was hot but fun. I danced alot. I think my knees are still hurting.

Oh, and did you notice that it's been a year since I was mugged? Strange to think that. And quite a few people still don't know that it happened. There was a spate of robberies last week in the Central West End (did you know that London boasts a CWE as well? Theirs probably came first, though) and that guy had a gun. Thank goodness my assailant didn't.

*tries to think of where she left off in Artorius Rex Novare* Screw it. I have to study. At least I have my word count.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 10:35 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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You haven't forgotten that I'm doing nanowrimo just because I'm not posting it here, right? You know why I'm not? Because Livejournal has a feature that allows you to friends-lock posts so you control who reads it for future electronic rights protection. Since I am insane and holding out the slim-to-none hope that one day I can be published, friends lock is the way to go. I'm also too lazy to do the same to this blog, and since I have no idea who reads it, this would be a bad place. But if you have LJ, head over to artorius rex novare and comment on one of the posts you see there. I might be nice and let you in J So yeah. Been hard juggling orgo and writing, and will most likely spell disaster for both, but at least I have something to look forward to when I'm killing myself over orgo. Reactions suck!

Don't you just want to get the Extended Edition of the Return of the King? Yahoo 50 minutes of bonus footage! I DO want to sit in my chair for four hours straight! Just over a month til it comes out...I shall have it! And in about half a month I shall have HP & PoA and Spidey 2. Whee!

Onto the ickiness. Read on for more ranting. Warning: exceedingly long, because I'm tired and out of it.

So I get up early this morning to go help my dad set up for the Artist Boutique in Kirkwood. Actually manage to get there on time despite waking up about 10 minutes later than I should have and walking out the door about 15 minutes after I should have. Get all set up, and then lots of people come by, so this is good. Hopefully the rest of the day went as well. But I left after an hour, because I had to get back and gather up all the miscellaneous crap that goes along with studying orgo and meet Eileen at a café near my place. It used to be called Aesop's, but now it's the Blackberry Café. As far as I know it's the same menu (now I can say I have had baba ghanouj, and liked it) and the same owner, just different name. Eh. Weird. Anyway, I get there, I'm a little late, but Eileen usually runs quite late, so I just sat in the café and waited for her, then we went outside because it was such a beautiful day. Now, I fully intended to order something, the desserts looked good, but I wasn't hungry at that moment nor was she, so both of us waited until we'd both been there a while. She orders the baba ghanouj, and offers me some, and later a guy comes out to gather up the dirty dishes and comes over to my table (the tables outside are pretty small so we both needed one each just to have our books open) and said, "And what did you have to drink?" I said, "Oh, I didn't order a drink." Then he goes, "Well, you NEED to order one." Not remotely politely. I guess I should have said, haven't ordered a drink *yet.* I realize it's not nice to go to a place and take up a table that could be occupied by a paying customer without buying something, but I really did intend to get food--when I felt hungry. Which wasn't *yet.* So sooner than I wanted, I went in and got a soda and a pita sandwich, which was good, but not good enough to make me want to go back. Apparently that was the guy who told Eileen she couldn't push two tables together to have more room to spread out the last time she was there. Jeez. It's not like the place was packed to the gills. I did happen to hear the people at the next table over talking about NaNo, oddly enough. We had a small exchange I thought it was pretty crazy that I'd randomly encounter someone in town doing it outside of an organized meeting.

So I did get some studying done, not as much as got done when we met up at the library before the last test, and I left pretty shortly after I had finished my sandwich, because I had to run some errands. Read: use my 20% coupon at Borders to get my mother's birthday present, which of course turned into much more. I got a few electronica cds to hopefully encourage the writing spirit (Amethystium, Robert Miles, Desert Groove, and, I know, not electronica, the Vanity Fair soundtrack, and the Polar Express sdtk, solely for the Josh Groban song) all of which seem to be good. Then I had to return stuff to target and pick up some essentials, like milk and orange juice (even though I had been right across from a grocery store, I didn't want to cart the cold stuff in the car with it being so nice outside) and then�I went home to study. Whee. Ugh. I'm going to die. And sadly enough it looks as though I won't be able to go to the write-in for Nano tomorrow since I've got to help my parents pack up. Dear God how am I going to learn all these reactions and still make my pages for the day? Ugh.

If you read this far, I salute you. Amazing how I can write 800 words about a lot of nothing but I'm still far behind on the actual writing. Yeah. I think it's about time for bed. Not making much sense.

  Amethystium: Into the Twilight

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 1:06 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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April 2004 WP: Write about a car trip.

The one thing I remember about my youth group trip to Colorado (other than the insanely long drive in a hot van) was that my walkman batteries conked out on me about halfway there and I didn't have enough money to get new ones (until we got there, of course). And to top it all off, by the time we got there we couldn't have any electronic devices with us on the actual hiking trip...which included watches. So I spent the entire week wondering what time it was...until we were in the middle of nowhere reveling in the glorious country God provided. And I suppose that was the purpose of it all...I miss going camping, such like that...amazing how thinking of a road trip can remind you of things like how I was scared to be 'too secular' and not understand things the leaders were talking about. How I could spend an entire night solo, singing to myself and writing in my journal and actually reading the Bible. I keep looking at the Outward Bound site and wishing.

One of these days I will have to stop wishing and start actually doing.

Moonstone got a couple more paragraphs two nights ago...let's hope that continues. Dad asked me how long it was going to be after I told him I had about seven chapters written: "...so it's going to be around ten?" Hah. Hah. I have no idea how long it's going to be. I don't even know how it's going to end, unlike JK Rowling. Go read it.

Thank you and goodnight. I'll try to do the TC prompts more often.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 7:03 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Well, saw Underworld with Jess last night. It was dark. And it was late, and the theater was near empty...but the sound was cool. It gives you the little shivers with the transformations...not quite as good as say, Anita Blake books, but eh. Books are always better with that. Some gripes, like the transformations were a little sloppy and you couldn't understand that Kraven guy (who did not look like he could *ever* be the leader of the vampires...and what's with that weird accent?). Odd that the vamps didn't seem to have too much of a fixation on blood, but maybe I've just been reading too many horror novels.

Not enough romance for my taste, but then again that's why I'm attempting to write Decadence. There were a couple parts when I was saying, eh? and then I wondered what happened to the blond vamp later in the movie...but it's so obvious that there is going to be a sequel, what with the way it ended, and indeed, empire online reported today that there is going to be a sequel. Well and good, I suppose. I'd probably see it again if I had people to see it with, just for the fact that it's vamp/werewolf. Makes me very in the mood to write more of my fic.

Jess thought it was going to be sort of anime-ish. Needless to say she was surprised. It's got some gore in it...but maybe I'm inured to it because it didn't bother me. Rather I laughed disbelievingly at the ickiness of it. Ah well.

Did I mention how it's a little odd to try to write a story with a character that's quite different than me? I mean, I'm never really angry, I don't have any werewolfish qualities...not that I know of anyway and I'm certainly not in love with someone from the wrong side of the tracks who I'm supposed to hate. So that's my excuse for writing Decadence slowly.

And re: the elves...yes, I did go to the Renaissance Festival last weekend. My parents let me have the new van, which was an experience...never driven that far or that long before. Thank goodness for cruise control. We drove down saturday night and stayed at Jess' friend's new apartment, which was nice. Two cats and a very late night later, we got to the festival much later than planned, but ah well. I wore my Legolas outfit because above all I love comfort, and that tunic and frock, if badly sewn, are much more comfortable than a corset. Although I do think I look quite fetching in a corset. People apparently quite liked the outfit; I had several compliments like 'that looks familiar' or 'how elven' (from the people who work there, who, to stay in character, can't let on that they recognize Lego, as this particular representation is from a movie, which certainly didn't exist in that time period, but they have an entire fairy forest, so elves are quite welcome) and a few people asked where I got my vambraces. One man asked me where I got them and when I said I made them, he was quite surprised and said how he was getting married soon and he and his fiancee were having an elven theme. Now perhaps I should have offered my services, but I didn't really want to subject myself to painting more at work And someone else liked the embroidery, which I always feel a little weird taking compliments on, because it's just machine sewing. Albeit machine sewing that took much time and effort, but I would never try to hand sew something like that. But yay. People liked the outfit. One of the workers even asked if I worked the fest, and I had to say no. I wish I did. Unfortunately KC is much to far away from StL to make it worth it. Perhaps someday...

It rained on us a little bit, but nothing so hard as to drive us away early. We shopped, watched some of the shows, and walked between the raindrops. I bought some perfume that I'd been wanting for some time (Voodoo Charm and Carnival, which you'll have never heard of unless you visit Majikah Perfumery) and some incense that I'll finally be able to burn at the new apartment since it will be free of the motherly indict against burning anything at home.

Of course, the rain got worse on the way home. Sometimes it was quite hard and then it became foggy, so visibility was crappy. We got home later than we wished and I didn't get to cruise nearly as much as I wanted to. but overall we had fun. Saw a sugar glider nestled in someone's cleavage. Some very funny shows, some very good shows, neat shops. More time would have been nice, perhaps getting there earlier, but ah well. There's always next year.

I think I'll go attempt to write some more of Decadence now.

file under: movies , muses , writings Posted by Jen at 2:39 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I'm hosting my first site! Whoohoo! Go check out Orlicandie and let Nessa know what you think!

Saw Shanghai Knights with Alex last night. Very good, very funny, and some nice cinematographic moments. And Randy Edelman did the music, which is a good thing. I think it might have been funnier than the first one. Lots of niiiice martial arts. A good villain. Swordplay. A girl who could kick ass. Rock on.

So I was silly and got the 2-disc set of Moulin Rouge. Very cool. There's this interactive version that shows behind the scenes stuff, but only got to see some of the extras on the second disc cause (get this) I'm supposed to search for these old-version shoes my mom wants and antique glass eyes for this miniature ox statue we've got. Something from a chinese legend. I have a feeling I'm not going to find either. Ah well.

Had a longish chat with Jem about Moonstone words last night. Er, this morning. I just get lost in talking about stuff I've made up. Isn't that silly? But it's so fun. cer'athe elthione i'c� laeva, tuo cire. Arro ish bian quor, min Chief cist� mo. and cedde tuon bianne e bie! and Pad na corure? ish tu'toranar. None of which are in use yet, but will be shortly I know what they all mean and I made up present tense conjugation. lol. my made up language has some grammar! hopefully I can get many chapters written this year. lol. And I haven't forgotten about Decadence, it's just tough to get in the mood with that one. Someday, grasshopper. If you have anything to say about either of these, please, please leave a comment or something. I love feedback.

file under: orlando , writings Posted by Jen at 5:28 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Children: don't stop dancing...
Believe...
you can fly....away
--Creed, Don't Stop Dancing

A couple of weeks ago I learned that my grandparents were being bought out of their farm down in Richland Missouri. This is really saddening and disheartening, as I wanted to be able to take my kids there. Course, it's probably better for my grandparents, health-wise, but this means that most likely they'll move down to Corning Arkansas where the rest of their relatives live. Farther away from us and no more near the Gasconade river. There's so much there that I'm going to miss. All the memories, all the places. I'm not sure how much longer they have down there, but it's not long enough. I love my grandparents.

Nothing I can do about it, though. Life sucks. I still need a job, and this is my last week at the Nolta lab. Ah well. Anyone knowing of job openings, let me know. I should just apply to Borders and school myself to temperance.

file under: serious , writings Posted by Jen at 9:22 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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John F Kennedy was assasinated. I remember when Beauty and the Beast came out it premiered on the 22nd of Nov, and how it was sad that such a great movie came out on the same day as such a tragic event. I was 10 or so, already thinking deep thoughts, lol. Of course, there were several music cds, etc, released last year on Sept. 11, and it's always a little wrenching to see that as the release date.

On a lighter (or darker, as the case may be) I've been writing more on Decadence and TMC. Decadence is already getting gory. Definitely an influence of the books I've been reading I hope I can actually go through with it.

I finally developed the pictures from graduation and this summer and this fall...course it's only three rolls. There are some pretty wacky pics in there. You can see some of them here, don't laugh too hard.

I want advance tickets to TTT, damnit! All the sites I've tried don't seem to have them for this area. Phooey. lol. I'm not obsessed, really. Only 25 days left!

file under: lordoftherings , serious , writings Posted by Jen at 5:32 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I've moved up to the Apprentice's Challenge, once again Thanks to all of you, and thanks to my new VE friends Let's hope this week turns out a little better than the last time I was there...

There's a snake loose in the lab. My boss' cat caught a little garter snake last week and she brought it in, sort of a mascot, lol. The new girl at the lab, Fatima, said it was there this morning, but there is no snake in the terrarium... this could be interesting.

I wrote a lot yesterday for TMC. One of the huge turning points in the book. It's so far ahead of anything I've written so far that none of you would get it, but you'd all probably kill me if you knew what it was. Actually, May is the only person who knows about it. It's all beautifully tied in to what's already written, but I can't share it. Damn, I need to write quicker. *hint coming up* I've only gotten one person's opinion on chapter four of TMC (thanks Jem)...come on, read it! Let me know what you think!

Don't forget to vote...links are after the post...

file under: competition , writings Posted by Jen at 11:35 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Please remember to vote (Democrat) if you live in the USA! Every vote counts. And I don't just mean in the general elections Please remember to vote for my site, too. You make me really happy

So yesterday this comp wasn't connecting. And it wasn't connecting this morning. But then Phillip reset the router (?) and it works. Thank God for techie men.

No comments on Chapter four? It's not that long... please let me know what you think. Ivana thinks I should have more descriptive passages. And I know I need to go back over some of the old stuff. I'm always looking for fb.

file under: politics , writings Posted by Jen at 1:29 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Yes, yes, I know. It's been waaay too long, but chapter four of The Moonstone Chronicles is finished. I hope you like it. For those of you who've been reading it, there's not too much more to it, only about a thousand words, but it's done. In the real world you'd read the excerpt from Faldor next, but I have to figure out how to put that in first.

Read it here.

And if you want to read about Faldor the elf: here. Keep in mind this is not finished.

and last but not least, if you want to get a cryptic taste of what's to come, read the Prophesy of the Blind Seeress.

For some reason my other comp isn't connecting to the internet right now so I'm doing this from my laptop. Ahh, the memories of college I need something to do. I feel like a lug just sitting here at work. Pah. At least I finished the chapter

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 2:52 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Did y'all see the comment from Sean Garrett on the post for 'Decadence'? A little bit spooky, if you ask me. Unless one of you was playing a joke on me...come out come out wherever you are. I hope by now you've noticed that the story is not finished. I'm sorry to say that you're insane in the story, and me thinking of that name has nothing to do with you lol. I feel like I just wrote a disclaimer. 'All coincidence with any persons, living or dead, is entirely unintended.' Are you still interested?

file under: webetcetera , writings Posted by Jen at 12:16 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Do you think Aragorn would have tried to reclaim the throne of Gondor had the Ring not come along?

Probably not. I mean, he was all happy to be in exile, he chose it, and he could have had Arwen with fewer problems, I'm thinking. Course, if he was destined to become king, then I think something else would have pushed him towards kingship. Some other evil, some other conflict would come up. That's the way of the world, any world. Even Middle Earth.

I had one of those wonderful connection moments with TMC last night in the shower. You know the times when bits and pieces of the story come together to make something whole. I had to finish showering quickly and keep repeating the story to myself so I wouldn't forget. Then I sat in the bathroom with a pad of paper and wrote it down. Man it's messy, cause I was writing so quickly. Part of the problem was that I see things in images...and it's a bit difficult to write down images. esp when you just have this glimpse. Ah well. I think I managed enough. One day TMC is gonna be really cool.

And I just lost a paragraph of Decadence. I hate it when the comp freezes... sigh. It'll come back to me. Be sure to check here for periodic updates to Decadence. I'm trying to write at least a paragraph a day. Eventually I'll get to do that for TMC too. Someday, grasshopper...

It bugs me that I can't share it with all of you. It would majorly spoil some plotlines.

file under: lordoftherings , writings Posted by Jen at 3:31 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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Ok, so I got eliminated from the Apprentice's Challenge at WQ and am back at Hobbiton, so go vote and get me back up there! Thanks

Watched FotR for the I-don't-have-the-slightest-clue-what-time, and was again reminded just how damn hot that elf is. Sigh. I want to be in a movie just for the pointy ears. If Cate Blanchett said that, then so can I.

Call it dividing energies, but now I can be totally happy. I've got a modern-day vamp/werewolf story and a fantastic medieval magic story with elves and I don't have to figure out how to combine the two. You know what's funny, sometimes I almost feel like the story is already written in my head, it's just the getting it onto paper (or in pixels as the case may be) is the difficult part. I feel like I have to carry around a tape recorder all the time so I can record those random bits of insight that make the story come together. Course, then I'd look insane, talking to myself all the time...like anyone cares! I wonder though, if I can be 'dark' enough to do justice to Decadence. I think I have read enough to know, but it's like writing romance. Sure I had my share of heady stuff, but a) it was a long time ago and b) I am considerably older and better-read than I was then, so my experiences with romance are probably a little out of whack. And I'm not a dark person, so it will be interesting to see what I can dredge out of my subconscious...glad y'all like it, anyway.

file under: competition , writings Posted by Jen at 12:46 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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file under: writings Posted by Jen at 6:48 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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This is from Faldor's POV, an elf that Lauriel and Cat will eventually meet when they start their quest. He's introduced in this passage. Please let me know what you think!

Faldor

The girl stopped at the table closest to the bar, removing an emptied tankard while balancing a full pitcher in the other hand. She must have felt the weight of my stare, for she turned and glanced my way. I gasped as I saw her yellow eyes, fairly glowing in the dim candle- and fire-light of the alehouse. Though thankful for the darkness about my booth, in the farthest corner from the fire, I wondered how she discerned my presence.

She raised an eyebrow quizzically in my direction, and placed the pitcher on the table, breaking gaze briefly to smile at its weather-worn residents. She walked towards my table, starting visibly when she saw there truly was a person there, but continued shortly. She stopped at the foot of the booth and looked at me expectantly. I made sure my glamour was in place, for in this country I had found it was unwise to reveal my race. Elves were not looked upon kindly here.

When I did not speak, she asked, "D'ye want t' order somewhat, sir? There be a particular good ale I ken, that's pleasin' t' exotic tastes."

I looked up, and was caught by her eyes. I could not look away, and barely heard what she said.

"Sir? D'ye want th' ale?"

I shook my head, forcing myself to look away.

"No, sir? Bé, then. Let me know when ye hae need of somewhat." She began to turn away, bemusement in those fascinating eyes.

"Wait."

Rising quickly from the bench, I grabbed her arm, eliciting a startled gasp from her, as it must have seemed I was suddenly at her side with no intervening time. Immediately it was my turn for amazement as I felt the strength in her under the thin muslin. I could sense currents of energy pulsing 'neath her skin, drawing me even more powerfully than her eyes. She was a fountain of life, a well that could not be drained.

"Sir? I--" her voice, frightened, barely registered above the commotion of the tavern.

"Ach. Aye, I'll take the ale."

She nodded, slowly, staring just past my hand on her arm, the yellow eyes enormous. After too long a moment, feeling the power in her, I released her arm, aware of suspicious eyes on me from behind the bar. I had most likely broken protocol, and someone with a big stick might come out of the kitchen if she went back without an order.

"Bé, sir. I'll get ye th' ale." The girl looked at me askance, eyes wide, seeming loathe to ask the next question. I almost lost myself in those eyes again, but I pulled my gaze to the scarred wood of the table.

"Nothing else, lady. Just bring the ale."

I could not look up until I heard the soft whisper of her footsteps, inaudible to human ears over the noise of the tavern, disappear into the kitchen, shaken by those eyes and that inexplicable power.

"Who are you?" I whispered into the smoke and shadows.

PS: if you want the rest of it, read it here.

and don't forget to vote see the link at the end of the post!

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 6:09 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I forgot how good Fellowship of the Ring is. I'm rereading it, so I can have reread The Two Towers in time for December. Just so I can have something to compare. It's taken me several weeks to get to 'The Council of Elrond', where Legolas is introduced...which is weird. I used to tear through books in a few days, much less a week. Work really cuts into your reading time.

I moved up to Lothl�rien for next week in the Wizard's Quest... thank you all! Don't forget to keep voting, please!

So friday was rather hectic at work. I did most of my work by myself, cause Todd and Dr Nolta were down in New Orleans (luckily the hurricane cleared up by the time they got there--no joke!) for a conference. I was supposed to phenol-chloroform my dna samples to purify them--and anyone who was reading this over the summer remembers how I burned myself with phenol when I did that in the other lab. Ew. So, I was looking at the protocol and I found another way to repurify the samples...so I did that instead. Hopefully Todd won't mind and the PCR will actually work this time. I was going to run on Friday cause Billy was supposed to be there, but I actually got my butt up in the morning and did a short workout at the new Webster high school track. So in the grand scheme of things it's ok that I didn't run in the afternoon. It may sound shallow, but I would have liked to have seen Billy. Even if he's still going with Amy. Why are the cute ones taken?

Anyway, the protocol ran late and I missed the shuttle that would have gotten me there on time. That was probably a good thing anyway, cause luckily I remembered another thing I had to do for Monday. Hopefully it's ok that I put a little too much trypsin in, and the cells will be growing alright so we can have virus to inject in muscles... don't ask, I can't explain. And the check gel I ran actually had DNA in it (even though some of the wells didn't have enough dna cause of the ethanol), and the ladder worked, my psuedo-ladder that I concocted. So, sometimes I can make things work.

I watched the Buffy season premiere last night. Get this: the UPN affiliate is now the Home Shopping Network on friday evenings. LOL! It's funny, cause I only saw two or three Buffy eps from last season (have them all on cd though) so I was just a little bit lost. But they had a bunch of old enemies from previous seasons.. how cool was that! I just wish Angel and Buffy would get back together...it's sad that they're on different networks. No chance for a crossover! I do have to say I'm turning into a bit of a Spike fan, I mean, who can resist those cheekbones! And besides, he can sing. And supposedly he's got a soul now, so I can just see the slayer-vamp vibes coming back... I then watched two eps from last season while I was in bed. The musical ep...hilarious! I loved it, and the songs were actually really good. Did I mention how I wanted to be a singer-songwriter, like John Mayer? He rocks my world.

I also want to be a writer. I'd love to just sit down and write my story. I know, I know, I should just go and do it... but you have to be in the mood to write. As I obviously am right now, lol. But I really want to write all of the story, coherently, I want to introduce you to Faldor and Myrhysa and Risk and Rraric and Aurin. I want to tell you of the Gem of Akkaan and the plains of Iragea and Imagea. There's a place called Myropel for which I invented a mythology. May already knows about what happens to Zach, but I have to actually get there... You really should read it. What's written, anyway: The Moonstone Chronicles. And you could check out my Roswell fanfic while you're at it: (Human) Development. Both also available on my site without the ads.

If you made it through all that, I applaud you. Any ideas for my next layout? I really need a new one. Not that I don't love staring at Legolas Comments and suggestions very welcome.

file under: working , writings Posted by Jen at 10:09 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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...is finished. You can read it at Fanfiction.net, hopefully soon to be at etoiline.com/dreamer. If you are only interested in reading the final part, go to Surrender to the Stars.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 3:04 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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(just give me one)

day of mine

don't wanna go through it this time

pulled two different ways

like ordinary days

just want one day of mine

no waiting in line

a day to be free

can I be me?

Someday I might make a song out of that. Admittedly and shamelessly based off Vanessa Carlton's Ordinary Day.

file under: muses , writings Posted by Jen at 1:19 PM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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I wrote this back in high school when I was still trying to get over my ex. Which, truthfully, will be never, cause I think of him everyday. Lest someone get the wrong idea, though, I am over him. Just not the idea of him.

I miss my forever knight
how I long to be the queen of your night
without you,
I am a princess in exile,
stranded without her subject.
bereft of power
a banishéd Juliet
away from her Romeo
What gold of jewels can compare to you
they are not you
your eyes, or lips
or caressing hand
what's the use of dreams if there is no one to share them with?
How can I forget this love...?

That's what you get for cleaning your room. You find angst-filled poems and nigh-on romance novels in the writings of youth.

And whoever the hell thinks it's funny to cast negative karma votes, stop being a coward and say why you don't like it. It's stupid to hide in anonymity.

file under: writings Posted by Jen at 12:50 AM | Permalink MTIfCommentsActive>|

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